Page 59 of After Effect

Chapter 15

Finch Corbin

Mark picked us up that day. I never asked what he did with the bodies. I didn’t want to know. All I needed to know was that it was over. We rode back in silence. Lilly was dropped off at home, where her mother gave her the world’s most worried hug. Mark dropped me off at my apartment, where I sat alone in my living room, staring at a blank TV screen.

I offered to visit Lilly a few times while she was healing, but she wanted her space. It was a lot to take in. I didn’t bring up that night again.

It was nearly two months before I was back in the office. I arrived to a get-well-soon card on my desk, propped up by a teddy bear with a smiley face balloon. It was signed by the whole office, but it was undoubtedly picked out by Jonathan.

ALIVE had gone into a frenzy with the unexpected passing of the CEO. Mad restructuring, contemplating layoffs, and worries of the office going under were common whispers by the water cooler. Jonathan had stepped into the driver’s seat to try to manage the company until a better solution could arise. Marketing is the first and foremost skill of any management company, and he was more than capable of keeping the morale up with his fair and pleasant disposition. He was the kind of person I could handle having as a boss.

I had spoken to Charles Sommers only once since everything had concluded. He offered me the position of CEO at ALIVE. He knew how to pull all the right strings. But I didn’t want that kind of responsibility. I just wanted to write and create and have the freedom to do what I’m actually good at. At twenty four years old, I was promoted to the head of the writing department. It was a needed distraction to reset my mind.

As for Lilly, her over the top performance at the Bass Jumpers Tour was the publicity she needed to launch into super stardom. The shows kept coming. She went on tour, but my new responsibilities in the office had me staying locally for a while. I kept working with her closely. We still talked on the phone before her performances. But something was… different.

A year later, I walked into her trailer after a solid performance at the Hollywood Bowl, the first local show she had done since the incident. She sat on her couch, despondent and quiet, not even making eye contact as I entered the door.

“You killed it out there. How are you feeling?” It seemed like the only normal thing to say.

“Alive, I guess.” She sighed. “How’s the office life treating you?”

“I’ve been learning a lot. Jonathan has taught me just about everything he knows and everything he’s still figuring out.” I gave her a shallow smile.

“Good to hear.” Pointless small talk.

I took a seat beside her. Even with all that time passed, seeing her again, finally sitting down together, one on one, just like old times, it all started to feel fresh. I could smell the gun powder mixed with blood and rust and sea. I could feel my heart beating a little faster. But in all that pain, and all that fear, and all the deals I made- as we sat in this dressing room, after selling out one of the biggest venues in Los Angeles- I was so mad at myself I could barely look her in the eye. Lilly was the one who pulled the trigger. She had found the gun in Baek’s truck, she said. Lilly was the one who, right or wrong, had to now live with having killed a man. Two men. I built the cross to decorate her home, and it became a burden only she could bear.

I looked at her, sitting beside me. This passionate woman who couldn’t contain her feelings, now could no longer express them. Or she no longer had them. And that was my fault.

“Lilly, I-”

“I can’t do this anymore.” She interrupted me with the five words I deserved and the five words I never wanted to hear.

“I know.” I nodded. More silence. For so long it physically hurt.

Shake it off.

I lifted my hand and placed it squarely on her shoulder. Not waiting for further consent, I pulled her into me, so her head fell against my chest.

She hugged me tightly, and she cried all the tears she had been holding in for the last year.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered into her hair, burying my nose in the scent of coconut shampoo. Then I lifted her chin, and I met her lips. Light and soft. And I savoured the last time I would kiss this woman who I had come to love so much. My Confidante. My best friend. And the one person who I would never want to live without.

It was selfish. And I knew I shouldn’t. But I need this. Just one last time.

Her lips felt natural against mine, like they were always meant to be there, and immediately we were back in each other’s rhythm, tangled in her flavour, intoxicated by her movements. It took everything I had to pull away.

Lilly averted her gaze, and rested her ear on my chest again. Her tears continued to dampen my suit.

“I’m sorry, Finchy.” She was barely audible.

“It’s okay.” I stroked her hair, then placed my chin atop her head. “I’ll still always be here for you.”

---