Page 9 of After Effect

“You might have to tell them that.” I let slip a nervous laugh. “It maybe could have possibly gone better.”

“They didn’t like you?” His eyes widened. Genuine surprise. “I… I can’t believe that. I mean, your voice, your lyrics- I’d never heard anything quite like you. Are they deaf?!”

And now I was blushing. This must be what it feels like to have fans. But this wasn’t at all the kind of person I would have expected my fans to be.

“That’s just it. They didn’t really get to hear me.” I averted my gaze and rubbed the back of my neck. “I kind of choked.”

Finch’s expression immediately flattened. “Like… you were too afraid to sing?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re telling me you want to be a rock star, but you’re terrified of performing in front of people?”

“Yeah…”

“… I see”

I dropped my head in silence, and he took another drag off his cigarette before snuffing it out on the asphalt at our feet.

“They were probably right to turn you down.” Finch shrugged then reached for the door. As he turned the knob, my chest filled with an inexplicable sense of panic. As if the moment he disappeared, my dreams would disappear with him. I needed to keep him here a little longer.

“Wait!” I shouted loudly enough to wake a nearby hobo. I’d apologize, but it was also loud enough to stop Finch in his tracks. “You gave me a chance the first time, and clearly you believe in me- maybe you can get me another shot!”

While he may have cocked an eyebrow, completely void of amusement, my pleading was clearly working as a stall tactic.

“I’m just an intern. I don’t have that kind of power.” He shook his head, no longer making eye contact.

“You’ll regret it if you lose me!” I heard myself blurt on last ditch instincts. “I’ll… I’ll work harder than anyone. And I’ll forever be in your debt. And… uh…” Selling points, selling points. What are my selling points? “My dad raises really delicious cows, so… I can make you an extra nice dinner as a thank you?”

Finch blinked a few times to process my stellar list of compelling traits. We stared blankly at each other, until I finally broke the silence again. “I promise my singing is much better than my list making…”

Then he laughed. It was a laugh both lightly chilling, yet… probably friendly? “I’ll see what I can do.” Finch opened the door and, just like that, he was gone.

I released my breath and slumped against the wall. So much for that dream. The two blocks back to the bus stop felt like a thousand miles, and the bus ride back to Oxnard felt like a decade. I hopped on my scooter at the bus station, and puttered back to Cisneros con Gandules, where my mom was serving a flavorful plate of rice and beans and chicken to some of our regulars. She gave me a warm nod as I entered.

It should have lifted my heart with all those warm, fuzzy, nostalgic feelings of familia, but instead, it just reminded me of a life I was destined to be stuck in. I shouldn’t complain. This isn’t a bad life. But… it’s not what I wanted. It wasn’t enough.

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Finch Corbin

I knocked on the door to Jonathan’s office with an urgency that betrayed my desire to come off as casual. He opened the door with the warm smile he always wore.

“Good to see you, Finch! Any other prospects jumping out at you?” He took a seat back behind his desk, while I remained by the door, feeling a bit awkward about what I was about to ask.

“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. What did you think of that Lilly character? Was she any good?”

Jonathan frowned. “She… uh… I think she was more than a little nervous. Of course, Madeline and Gary weren’t being particular understanding today, either. The other auditions were pretty bad, to say the least.”

“Ah, that’s a shame.” I paused. “Did she even have potential?”

Jonathan sat back in his chair, regarding me carefully as he rapped a finger on the desk for a few beats. “You really liked her, huh?”

“I just have a really strong feeling about her.” I fought the blood rushing to my cheeks with debatable results. Why did that question feel so personal? “She’s got something special.”

Jonathan smiled. “Alright, let’s go talk to Mr. Baek, and you can pitch your case. I’ll back you up.”

The positive way he said it made me feel like I was on the right track. But the thought of having to deal with Baek tipped my scales of relief right back into the pool of dread. But I knew I was right about Lilly. I don’t know why, but I could feel it in my gut, and if I let them pass her up, I knew I’d regret it forever. Meeting her in person only cemented that feeling for me. I can do this.

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