Page 42 of Yours Suddenly

My cousins rush out with their first aid kit. The pain in my side isn't even all that bad. I've been shot thrice before, in my leg and arm, and those hurt like hell, but this one’s weak. I guess I'm too worried about Alexandra right now.

“Baby, come here,” I say.

She cuddles by my side as the car doors open and the cousin doctors immediately get to work. Everything is fading, blurring.

“Shh,” I say to Alexandra beside me, “we'll be okay, we'll be okay…”

An image of us together at a lake, two weeks after we got married, comes to my mind. It’s sunny and there's a pair of bald eagles circling overhead. She's standing by the shore, posingfor a picture I’m taking of her.Fuck, she's beautiful. My wife, Alexandra.

***

I'm somewhere warm. I can hear birds singing and the smell of the orange groves is being carried by a faint breeze that blows over my face.

I open my eyes.

I'm in my bedroom. Bandages wrapped around my waist.

For a moment it's just like before I met Alexandra. When I thought no one could love a monster.

There's almost no sign of her existence and my heart jumps in my chest, a knot forming in my throat.

Was it all a dream? Or was it all real and she left me after all?

Devastation crashes onto my chest as I lie there, unmoving…

But then a scent wafts up to my nostrils.

When I turn my head, she’s on the armchair. Asleep. Curled up on it like a cat. Dark hair tied in a ponytail.

Relief and happiness course through my veins like fucking crack. I can't help but laugh, and almost regret it because it wakes her up.

“Roman?” she says, groggily.

She sits up and her eyes widen.

“You're awake! Thank goodness you're awake!”

“I am,” I say. “Come here, I need to touch you.”

She sinks into my chest, and I hold her close, breathing her in.

She's real.

She's here.

“Are you okay?” I say. I hold her out at arm’s length so I can examine her carefully. “Fuck, baby, I hope you’re not traumatized from all the shit that happened. How are you feeling?”

“Great now that you’re awake.” She sinks back into my chest again, then pulls away, examining my face. “I'm so sorry about what happened. I overheard you, and I…”

“Don't apologize. Please. I should be the one who's apologizing. I kept things from you. I hurt you.” I think of the bruise on her neck, her face in the half-dark when she said she heard me andfuck. “I wish I didn’t have to devolve into making you hate me to protect you. I wish I knew everyone who wanted to hurt you and go after them instead of playing it safe.”

She kisses me, her lips soft and warm like pillows. “You didn't trap me in this life, Roman,” she says. “I knew from day fucking one. I knew what kind of man you were. I mean, it could’ve been a joke, but you threatened to kill a man if I went after him the night we met! I knew and I never cared because I’d never felt the way you made me feel. I’d never been seen the way you see me. I knew from the day I met you I wanted to be with you no matter what, no matter what you did. I think deep down it's always why I found myself back to you each time we got apart because I knew deep down that you truly loved me and I you.”

Damn. The last time I wanted to cry like this was when I lost my father. “I want to grow old with you,” I say. “I want to start a family with you.”

“Speaking of starting a family,” she says. She produces a pregnancy test. “It's positive!”

My eyes are stinging now. She comes back into my arms and I press my mouth to her forehead. “I'm gonna be a dad,” I murmur.

---