Page 39 of Yours Suddenly

“No, it's fine. I'll get it myself,” I say firmly.

“Okay?” They exchange slightly uneasy looks as I follow them to their Ford truck, and at the gate, the guards let us through without checking who's in the car.

“Awesome party that was,” the husband says. “Barely saw Roman though but whenever I did he wasn't looking happy. All tense.”

“To be fair,” the wife says. “Roman always looks pissed off.”

They both laugh and I join in awkwardly. “Yeah, that's him. My husband.”

We arrive at the gas station. I get the pregnancy test, which is what I really came for. Get some Tylenol too even though we have plenty at home. I'm about to pay when my phone starts ringing.

It's Roman.

I stare at the screen.

“You gonna answer that?” the familiar attendant says.

A pause. “No, I don't think I will,” I say.

A text comes in.wherw are you??? answer thr phone

Pretending to care about me. Telling me he loves me, buying me a yacht, so that… what? I can be content with just being a good wife and not the love of his life, who supposedly is going to come along and replace me? I’m just someone to bear him children and decorate his hotels and be someone he can sleep next to and fuck?

No. I’m not.

please answr the fuckin phone

I hail an Uber, and when it arrives, I walk to the truck that brought me here.

“Thank you for the ride, but I'll be taking an Uber back home,” I say

The couple look worried.

“Oh,” the husband says. “Is that safe? At this time? For a woman by herself?”

“The app has safety features, and Rome is following the trip on his phone.”

They look at each other uncertainly.

“Well, bye, and thanks for coming to the party!” I say and walk to the Uber.

When I enter it, the driver says, “JFK?”

“Yes, please,” I reply.

I remember the words he said to me in Oregon.There's no place on this planet you can go that I won't find you.

Maybe in America he has contacts and associates across the country, but what about Europe? What about some small townin, like, Norway? He can't find me there. It's a good thing I have my own bank card now. He won't be able to track me down at all.

Pain suddenly constricts my heart.

The truth is… I don'twantto leave America.

I don'twantto get away from my family.

Iwantto be in his arms. I want what we had to be real. And I’m doing all this because I want him to come from halfway across the world to find me. To show me he cares. Not because I actuallywantto move to Oregon or Europe.

Tears start streaming down my eyes again, and a sob escapes me.

---