Page 85 of The Mercy Chair

‘I’m not your—’

‘It’s just an expression, Tilly,’ Poe said. ‘I’ll grab us something to eat while I’m out. What do you fancy?’

‘There’s a smoothie bar not far from the bookshop, Poe. I’d like a spinach and kiwi fruit blend, please.’

‘That sounds awesome,’ Poe said. ‘Snoopy, what do you want?’

‘Same, please.’

‘Get your coat then.’

‘I’m staying here.’

‘You’re coming with me.’

‘Why?’

‘Because the way you’re staring at Tilly is making me uncomfortable,’ Poe said. ‘It’s creepy. Also, I’m not trying to carry three smoothies with two hands.’

Bradshaw looked up. ‘You? You’re having a smoothie, Poe?’

Poe shrugged. ‘I’ll have an ice-cream milkshake. I might even go to the Chopping Block and get one of their meat and potato pies. Been ages since I’ve had one of them.’

‘Poe, you have a Chopping Block meat and potato pieevery single timewe’re in Penrith. And every single time you say it’s ages since you’ve had one.’ She shook her head in disgust. ‘Honestly, your epitaph is going to read “Washington Poe: Died of a Saturated Fat Overdose. What An Idiot”. Would a salad kill . . .’

She trailed off and frowned. Her face went momentarily blank.

‘What is it, Tilly?’

‘What is what, Poe?’ she said, distracted.

‘You stopped talking.’

‘I did?’

‘You did.’

‘I’m probably hungrier than I thought,’ she said. She turned back to her makeshift desk and opened a new window on her laptop and began typing. ‘I’ll need those books now please, Poe. And Linus, please go with him and make sure he only buysonepie. Thank you.’

Chapter 74

One of the problems with juice and smoothie bars was that however much they dressed it up, they really only served fruit and vegetables. It didn’t matter that the ingredients had been blended, put in a cup and served with a soggy cardboard straw, it was still a gunky mess of unpalatable leafy greens and unbearably sour or sickeningly sweet fruits. Ingredients supermarkets wouldn’t put on the same aisles were forced together then given misleading names such as Liquid Sunshine and Endless Summer.

But the main problem was that for a supposedly fast and convenient food, smoothie and juice bars were slow andinconvenient. Poe reckoned he and Linus had been waiting for fifteen minutes. And, to make matters worse, the place Bradshaw had sent them no longer did milkshakes. The teenager behind the counter had offered Poe frozen yoghurt instead, to which Poe had replied, ‘I’d rather piss in my shoes.’

While they waited Linus said, ‘You seem to have a lot of these little “life battles”, Poe.’

‘What battles?’

‘Well, this one for a start. All you had to do was say no thanks to the frozen yoghurt. Instead, it became a whole big thing. I’d be surprised if they don’t spit in our smoothies.’

‘And I’d be surprised if you noticed,’ Poe said.

Linus smiled. ‘She’s like a machine, isn’t she?’ he said.

‘Who, Tilly?’

‘Yes.’

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