Page 57 of Of Fate & Forbidden Desire

“I fear she does not know what she is doing, but I must go help her, otherwise we’ll all be in danger.” He said, attempting to push me back towards the bed, “Stay with her.” And those three words have the desired effect as I give in and slump in the chair he’s vacated.

“I swear Charleene, that Fae girl you like so much, brings one more problem my way and I’ll wring her damn throat.” I grumbled aloud. “She’s been nothing but trouble, and you wouldn’t be where you are now, if not for her.”

Talking to her eased a little of my guilt and pain, making me feel lighter, as if unburdening myself.

“If you wake up, I promise to show you just how much you mean to me. You’re my light in the dark, my sunshine,” I told her, wondering if she could hear me. “I don’t know if you can hear me or not…”

“Her ears can hear you but her mind will take no note.” Startled, I’m on my feet in seconds, turning around to see Donovan standing just inside the room. I was so completely focused upon Charleene that I hadn’t heard him coming. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. To be honest I don’t think I’ve ever managed to get the drop on a Vampire before.” He joked.

A small laugh slipped free and I instantly felt guilty over finding something funny, when nothing else felt right. If I could cry, my face would be soaked, however as a vampire our bodies don’t react the same way they did when we were human.

“It’s ok to feel joy, Adrina, it is in times like these that you must hold onto any happiness you can.” His eyes were kind and crinkled at the edges when he smiled at me.

All I can do is nod and return to watching over Charleene.

“She is not on our plane,” he said solemnly, confusing the shit out of me.

“Then where is she?” I wondered aloud.

“It is said that Hecate herself created a place using spirit, a place for those who are not yet ready to move on from life.” He explained calmly, “I believe she is there, walking with our Goddess.”

“Will she return?” I asked, fearing what his answer might be.

“Honestly,” he paused, sucking in a deep breath and waiting for me to look up at him. Steeling myself for the worst, I met his eyes. “I don’t know. I’ve never known anyone still living that has spirit walked in that place and survived.”

My heart sank, and my hand flew up to cover my throat as it started making a strange sound and I realised I was sobbing. “No, she must come back.” I pleaded aloud to anyone listening. The day I’d died and been reborn as a vampire was the day I’d turned away from my human faith. However, now I prayed to any and every God, to bring her back to me.

Something wet rolled down my cheek. Surprised, I wiped it with my finger and when I looked down red coated the side of it.Huh, so we can cry, I thought to myself, shocked as I’ve never seen one of our kind cry and in the last three hundred years I’d not felt much, let alone felt anything strong enough to cry over.What have you done to me, Sunshine?I thought staring at the blood tear smeared over my finger.

“There is still hope Adrina, she may yet find her way back to you.” Dovovan said kindly, squeezing my shoulder gently. Sniffing, I looked up at him and offered a weak smile.

“I have to believe she will, or I’ll break.” I told him honestly, wiping away another blood tear that fell.

“Gladys’ spell to preserve her body is a good one. It will hold for another four days, I will also add my own protections on her and a spell to help her find her way back when she is ready.”

“Can you not just bring her back?” I asked selfishly.

“Not without risking myself to the same fate,” he apologised sadly, “Pulling her back before she is ready could also cause damage to her mind.”

Nodding, I picked up her hand in mine and tuned out everything else.

“Everything you love dies.” He drawled down at me, “look at the mess you have made trying to keep this one alive.”

There was blood everywhere, I’d been lost to a frenzy, the bloodlust too great to hold off any longer. Staring up I met his cold, calculating eyes and hate flooded through me. He did this to me, made me into this monster.

“I never wanted this.” I croaked up at him, making him laughcruelly.

“Nobody ever wants this.” He replied, his lips pulled thin and tight. “Clean it up and next time I give you something to eat, you better well eat it quickly, I won’t have this again.”

“But they are people.”

“And so were you when I fed from you. Do you really think you were supposed to turn?” he snapped, raising his hand in the air as if he’d strike me again. I flinched back, moving closer to the cold small body still cradled in my arms.

“I hate you!” I snarled at him, and instantly regretted it when his fist connected with my head and I saw stars.

“No one will ever love you now.”

Opening my eyes, longing filled me as I realised how evil my Sire had been. I’d kept his words and let them impact my life. Never allowing anyone to get too close, even Tilly who’d only ever been kind and loving to me, I’d kept everyone at a distance. Charleene however had been like a freight train, barging her way past every defence I’d normally put in place and tearing them to shreds. My Sire’s words fill my head again as I look down at her, so fragile and peaceful.Everything you love dies.His cruel words seem very apt right about now.

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