Page 51 of Of Fate & Forbidden Desire

“You could lose your own mind.” Eilidh whispered.

“Oh.” It seemed like such an insignificant response, but I was at a loss for what else I could say. I needed this bind gone and there was no guarantee we'd even find whoever had placed it on me, so what choice did I have? Making my mind up, I nodded to myself and met Eilidh’s eyes, “how do we do this?”

“What happened when your magic showed itself?” she asked, making me think back to the only time I’d ever used magic.

“A Vampire was threatening me and then suddenly I shot blue lightning from my hands.” I babbled, staring down at my hands as I remembered the way my hairs had stood on end and the blue ribbons that danced around my fingers.

“And you’ve not used any since then?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” I answered honestly, shaking my head at the same time. Watching her carefully, I wondered where her thoughts were taking her.

The sun didn’t inch across the blue sky, and there were no clocks here in The Inbetween, so without another way to tell the time I began counting the seconds in my head. On reaching thirty and Eilidh still remained quiet, I finally broke the silence, “what are you thinking?”

“I'm attempting to understand your specific bind, you can not feel your magic, correct?” Her voice was gentle, putting me at ease as I tried to see if anything felt different within me.

Closing my eyes, I thought about where one might find their magic but, after a bit, I still couldn't feel anything unusual. “I don't even know what I would be looking for so I'm going to go with no.” I answered honestly.

“Hmmmm, so you can instinctually defend yourself and you must have used magic for your living spirit to have reached here–” she began mulling aloud, when I interrupted.

“I'm not sure I did anything to get here,” I told her, trying to remember what had happened before I woke up. Only recalling the feeling of falling.

“You get stranger and stranger,” Eilidh said, crooking her head to one side as she looked me over from head to foot. “Did the witch you were with send you here?”

“I don’t think so, but I was with another who could use magic,” I told her, remembering Gladys beginning to read Ally. “Gladys was attempting to read her, I think.” My voice sounded hesitant even to my own ears.

“Right, then we should attempt to recreate how you felt when you last used your own magic.” Eilidh said, nodding her head in a short, decisive bob.

“And how would we do that?” I asked, biting my lip, unsure if it was even a good idea and not looking forward to feeling as scared as I had that night.

“Concentrate on that night, on how the vampire made you feel,” Eilidh’s voice was still gentle, but my stomach still rolled at the thought of being at the vampire’s mercy. Closing my eyes again I concentrated on how he’d made me feel.

Nervous butterflies swarmed my stomach, making it lurch as I pictured his blood red eyes fixed upon me and the smile he’d shown after scenting me. In my mind I watched as he advanced on me, but I couldn’t step back. I was trapped, my feet frozen to the concrete beside the river Ouse. Shaking my head as he drew closer, my eyes flew open, trying to escape him from my memories and I screamed as electricity surged through me. He was here, standing before me, leering as his hand reached out. Without thinking about it, I let the electricity I could feel build and pool in my hands, “NO!” I screamed, flinging my hands towards the vampire man as blue ribbons exploded from my palms.

“That’s it. Now feel how the magic feels within you, don’t let it fade just yet.” Eilidh’s voice reminded me that the man wasn’t actually here, and as I watched, my magic ran straight through him. Focusing on the magic as it buzzed around my hands, I followed it back up my arms to my heart. It was like my very blood cells held small bolts of electricity and my heart was pulsing with it. Focusing on only that, I felt how the magic came in waves, rising inside my heart and then pulsing through my veins with every heartbeat. But, beneath the almost overwhelming feeling there was something else… it was like the magic was tethered, as though it was coming from somewhere other than myself. Following what I imagined would look like a rope of electricity, I traced it back through my body, down my left leg and back to the Earth beneath my foot.

Without needing to think about it, I switched my focus to my right foot and waited. After a few moments I felt it, the buzzing of the magic still cooking from my hands. It emanated from the Earth beneath my foot, flowing through my veins to my heart before being forced out of my hands. “It comes from the Earth.” I gasped, as a bead of sweat dripped down my temple and I realised how exhausted my body was beginning to feel. Black edged in, swallowing the edges of my vision as Eilidh’s voice came out so loud.

“STOP!” she screamed, breaking the last of my concentration on the magic, and shockingly, it cut off.

Falling back, I let the spongy grass take all of my weight and cushion my head as my vision wavered and spun. I felt like I’d been on the waltzers for hours on end and my stomach lurched. Managing to turn my head to the side, I felt bile burn up my throat and thought I was going to be sick.

“Breathe.” Eilidh’s voice made my mouth open and I gulped in a lungful of air. “That's it,” she praised when I took another, holding it for the count of five and then releasing it again.

Eventually my head stopped spinning and when I reopened my eyes, the world—inbetween— remained still. Blinking up, I took in Eilidh's bright smile, “it comes from the earth,” I repeated, smiling myself.

“All of our magic comes from the Earth, child” she said. “Take a few moments to recover and we'll go again, if you are going to have any hope of breaking your bind. You will need to be able to keep control over your magic for longer.”

Nodding, I felt a strange emotion rush through me, one that I struggled to name. I felt elated and nervous at the prospect of learning more about the magic laying dormant inside myself and I eagerly awaited Eilidh’s next words.

Chapter Twenty-One

How do you go on when your heart is broken?-Dina

“What are you doing?” I asked Gladys, cradling Charleene's too still and floppy body in my arms.

“Checking her over.” Gladys’ eyes closed briefly as she focused upon her magic, and when they opened again, the look she flashed at me didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.

“Anything?” I ask, not daring to let my hope get too high.

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