Page 62 of My Ex-Boyfriend's Brothers

I wanted them to try to stop me almost as much as I wanted them to let me go. They let me go.

When I stepped back into the lodge I couldn’t keep myself together. I shook with silent sobs. Everything hurt. I hated myself for walking away but I would’ve hated myself for staying. It was a lose/lose situation. I couldn’t stay with them when they’d so willingly thrown me away. I wanted to, though. God, did I want to.

“Maggie?”

I tried to hide my face from James but he stepped in front of me and gently took me by the shoulders. I lifted my eyes to his and tried to smile. “I’m okay.”

He shook his head and pulled me in for a hug. “Forget about me asking you out earlier. Think of me as your friend and tell me what you need.”

“I just want to go home.”

“Then it’s your lucky day. There’s a break in the storm and flights are going out. If we leave now, you can be home by morning.”

I took a deep, shuddering breath. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I’m not the best driver on a good day.” He smiled and eased me away. “Can you be packed and ready to go in ten minutes?”

“Yes.” I thought of the things I’d left in the cabin and counted them as lost. “I can be ready in five.”

“Even better. Meet me back here as soon as you’re finished. My little brother is coming, too. He wants to get home to his dog.” James pumped his fist when he saw me smile. “I’ll tell you all about him and his dog while we’re getting out of here.”

52

***Luke***

“What do you think of this one?” Ryan slid his tablet across the table to me and frowned. “It feels like giving up to choose any of them.”

I barely glanced at the property on the screen. “It’s fine. Just like all the rest.”

Jackson joined us with three beers from the bar. He glanced at the tablet screen and shook his head. “Put it away. I’m not in the mood.”

“I’ve been couch surfing for two weeks. I need a place to live.” Still, he put the tablet away and rubbed his eyes. He looked exhausted. We all did.

“I would hardly call what you’ve been doing couch surfing. You have your own room at both of our houses for the rare occasion you stop by.” I drained the rest of my last beer and grabbed the new one. “Just stay with us.”

“It’s been a long fucking week. Same as last week. I just want to get drunk and forget that I hate my life for a few hours. Can wedo that?” Jackson turned his beer up and drank half of it in one go. Putting it down again, he burped. “‘Scuse me.”

“Any news?” I knew it was a dangerous question to ask. It was hardly going to help Jackson forget anything. I just had to ask.

“No.” Ryan pulled out his phone and I closed my eyes at the sight of his lock screen. It was a picture of Maggie in the sunset, eyes glowing and happy. That image would never replace the last one burned into my brain of her standing in the snow, crying, no matter how much I wanted it to. I didn’t deserve the warm version of Maggie. “She hasn’t posted anything, updated anything, nothing. Her business website says that she’s on a break still.”

Giving up his chance at a drunken night of forgetting, Jackson leaned forward and ran his finger over the picture of Maggie. “I just want to know how she is.”

“I even reached out to Christina. She told me to take a hike.” Looking around the bar we were in, Ryan picked at the label on his beer bottle. “What are we going to do? We’re all stuck in this limbo. I don’t want to move forward because I can’t accept that we fucked everything up this horribly. You guys are barely going to work. We’re stalking her. Poorly, but still. We’ve done everything but just go to her.”

“I tried going to work. I put my fist through someone’s windshield. You two are the only people I can stand right now and that’s just because you’re both suffering the same as me.” Running his hand over his beard, Jackson picked up Ryan’s phone and stared at the picture of Maggie again. “I hate not knowing what she’s doing or if she’s okay.”

“I could have someone check her out. Just so we know she’s okay.”

Ryan glared at me. “Imagine that conversation if she ever found out.”

I slammed my palms down on the table. “There wouldn’t be a conversation because she never wants to see us again. We’re never going to see her. It’s over. She hates us and it is what it is.”

“There isn’t a reality in which I’m okay with never seeing her again.” Ryan shook his head. “I don’t accept that. None of us do. It’s obvious by how hard we’re refusing to continue our lives. She’s ours. How does she expect life to be okay if she’s not by our side? I know we fucked up. We did. But how is this better than being together and working it out?”

“You’re preaching to the fucking choir.” Jackson pointed at me with his bottle. “Have you given up?”

Swearing, I shook my head. “How could I? Every time I close my eyes, she’s right there. I don’t want to accept this. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I just don’t know what else to do. Ignore her wishes when she was so clear?”

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