Page 56 of My Ex-Boyfriend's Brothers

I felt like I was moving through quicksand as I gathered my things from Luke’s cabin and went back to my small room. I could hear the beginning of the morning coming and I hated it. I crawled into bed and pulled the blankets over my head, not wanting to hear the birds singing or anything else. After sharing a bed with three giant men who ran hot, my bed felt like ice. I couldn’t get warm and I couldn’t sleep from how hard I was shaking.

I cried until I thought I was cried out and then I cried even more. I couldn’t stop thinking about Luke, Ryan, and Jackson leaving me. They’d believed the worst about me and left. I didn’t understand how they could just leave without trying to talk to me. Luke’s whole speech about knowing I was loyal had all been bullshit. They didn’t trust me. They didn’t respect me enough to talk to me. They didn’t care about me at all if they were willing to leave like they had.

It took me so long to fall asleep that the sun had risen completely and filled my room with light. Hidden under my blankets, I slept restlessly, tossing and turning to nightmares. I woke up gasping for air so many times that eventually I stopped trying to go back to sleep. I just stayed there, under the blankets, blinking to feel the drag of my eyelashes against the heavy material.

As the room began to darken again, I forced myself to the bathroom to pee. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and grimaced at myself. My eyes were swollen and red, there were dark bags under them, and I looked like I could’ve been cast as an extra for a zombie film. The taste in my mouth was bad enough that I found the energy to brush my teeth. That was all I could do for myself, though. I went straight back to bed and hid away again.

I lost track of time once the sun went down again. My stomach began growling at some point but I ignored it. I ignored everything. I found that if I lay perfectly still and held my breath, it was almost like nothing was real. I hadn’t lost a friend. I hadn’t lost the men I loved.

Loved. That word was an airhorn being blown right into my ear. It was red and flashing to warn of danger coming. Sharp, brittle, and nasty, it cut me deep to understand my emotions after the fact. The men I loved were gone. Easy come, no such thing as easy go. They’d slipped into my heart so quickly but I knew to the very core of my being that they wouldn’t just slip right back out.

I was screwed.

47

***Maggie***

Iwoke from a nightmare to the sound of knocking on my door. My heart raced as I stumbled from my bed, tangled in my bedding. My body still thought it had responsibilities and obligations. While my mind didn’t care to open the door, my body did it without any help. My mind was forced to rejoin the living world when I opened the door and found Christina standing on the other side of it, though.

Seeing her red, swollen face staring back at me, I took a slow, deep breath and stepped aside for her to come in. The room was dark so I turned on a lamp and felt around the bed for my phone. It was dead. While she sat, I went to the window and looked outside. The moon was still high in the sky.

“It’s two in the morning...” She had to clear her throat to get the words out. “I should’ve waited until later in the morning probably.”

I shook my head and sat at the opposite end of the bed. “It’s fine. I wasn’t sleeping well anyway.”

We sat in silence for what felt like minutes, neither of us rushing to speak. I didn’t know what to say. As much as I felt for her, I also knew that she was part of the reason the guys had left. The hurt part of me was angry.

“Can you tell me what happened?” The soft words broke the silence and left a chill in the air.

I took a minute to gather my thoughts and hugged a pillow to my chest. “He said he wanted help with his vows. He was being kind to me. Then, he kissed me and wouldn’t let me go. He dragged me on top of him and then shoved me off when you came in. I didn’t kiss him. I would never. I… I love his brothers and now they’re gone.”

She cried quietly for several minutes before wiping her eyes and looking at me. “I believe you.”

I hugged my pillow tighter. “Good.”

“You’re angry.” She pushed her shoulders back and nodded. “You have every right to be.”

“I’m not-” I took a deep breath. “I’m not angry. I’m fucking crushed. The guys… They left. They believed you and Brad and they left me. He told them that we’ve been sleeping together for months.”

“Oh, Maggie… I’m so sorry.”

“No.” I sat up and grabbed her hand. “It’s not your fault. It’s Brad’s fault. I’m not upset with you. I’m just…upset. They just left me. They didn’t even try to talk to me.”

“I shouldn’t have gone to them.”

“What about you? What are you going to do?” I couldn’t keep talking about the guys if I wanted to keep myself together.

“I’ve had a bad feeling for months. I wanted this storybook wedding, though. More than that, my manager wanted it. I convinced myself that marrying Brad was the right thing for me. The more I thought about what I saw when I came into that room, the more I started to feel like everything was crashingdown around me. It looked bad, but the look on your face wasn’t of someone who’d just been caught. You were horrified. It was the expression of a woman who’d just been assaulted.” She let out a sob and squeezed my hand. “I’m so sorry, Maggie. He hurt you and I helped him do it. He wanted to tell his brothers and I was confused and hurt. I thought it was the right thing to do in the moment but I was wrong.”

I looked away. “I don’t want to talk about them, Christina. Every time I take a breath, I feel like I’m going to vomit and I just need to talk about anything else.”

“I found more.” She pulled a phone from her pocket and let out a bitter laugh. “He passed out after going to the bachelor party you planned for him. I took his phone and I hacked into it. He’s been talking to dozens of women. Meeting up with dozens of women. He’s disgusting.”

“No.” I gripped her hand tight. “God, Christina, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

She laughed. “At least I found out before I spent hundreds of thousands on a wedding, huh?”

I cringed. “What are you going to do?”

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