Page 28 of See Her

“It scares the shit out of me.” He shakes his head slightly, like he’s bewildered at his own reasoning. “I don’t know why.” He runs a hand through his hair, pushing the long strands out of his face.“Maybe I’m afraid you’ll become even more important to me, and if I lose you, it will feel like I have nothing left. Maybe I’m afraid you’ll onlykind oflike that part of me and not love it…” He blows out a weighted breath as I try to make sense of the things he’s saying.

On paper, it’s like they make no sense at all, but in my mind, I can feel what he’s trying to say. It’s crazy.

“I can hear how crazy I sound now, saying it all out loud,” he finishes, dropping his head back, and this time, running both hands through his hair.

As I take in his words, the flames inside me start to dwindle down again. Still, I take a moment to look down at the sidewalk, unable to take the emotion I know I’d see in his eyes if I look up. I just need a moment to gather myself before I fall in.

“I guess… I just don’t know where this leaves us.” I raise a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug and finally look up at him.

This makes him bring his head back up to look me straight in the eye, those midnight blues of his softening as he steps closer to me.

“Well, where I’d like us to be is last night,” he answers, chancing to reach out and touch me, skimming his knuckles up and down my arm. Even through my jacket, his touch leaves a tingling sensation dancing along the surface of my skin. “To be able to rewind to that moment, and ask you to stay and see my band play.”

He brings his other hand up to cradle the side of my neck, and the touch makes my eyes close. His closeness is ecstasy, and I want more. I will myself to stay strong instead, at least long enough to hear the rest, no matter how torturously beautiful the feel of his thumb stroking along my skin is.

“And then I’d get over my cowardly shit, let myself be vulnerable to you, and lay it all out for you on the stage,” he continues, his voice taking on a rumbling tone that reminds me of thunder in the distance. “I would trust you, and I would trust fate to let all the parts of you and me come together, and if for some reason that didn’t happen, I’d never let myself regret it for a moment.”

My breath involuntarily catches in my throat. The way he’s touching me, the words he just spoke; they can’t be real. This feels too much like a fantasy to be true.

I try to control my breathing as Jack brings his forehead down to meet mine. “I saw you dancing in there…”

Wait.

“What?” I look up at him in surprise, the harmonious symphony between us coming to a screeching halt, which really sucks.

The very flames that had just dwindled down to a beautifully glowing ember reignite. I can’t believe he saw that!I was in my rawest form in there.Completely unbridled.That wasn’t meant for anyone to see.I feel so imposed upon and… kind of mad.

“Jack, what the–”

“And it made me not only see what an idiot I’ve been about this,” he interrupts my what would have been fabulously indignant tirade, but with raised eyebrows, politely asking me to forgive the cutoff and hear him out. “But it also made me want you to see that part ofme,” he explains.

“Jack…” I start in, keeping my voice level and ignore the uneasiness inside. “I could have very easily YouTubed you at any time to see your band play.I could’ve found out about any of the gigs that you’ve had since we’ve been seeing each other and just shown up. I wanted to, but I didn’t because I wanted you to ask me into that part of your life. So for you to actively keep me away from it, but help yourself to a view of me in my elemental passion–”

“It’s not fair,” he finishes, with a penitent nod. “I know that, and I’m sorry. But honestly, I came up here to try and talk things out, it wasn’t to be sneaky and steal a look at you dancing, but, Mayzie, I need to tell you… it was so damn beautiful. You were completely unleashed and it fucking moved me. I’m so fucking inspired right now. I’ve never felt anything like how watching you dance made me feel.”At these words, a bucket of warm water gets dumped on the last pitiful remaining flickers of my rage.Ifeel a gentle elation spread through me at the thought that this part of me makes him feel that way. I’m overcome with it, and I want to throw my arms around him.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I'd been holding, and feel my eyes start to shimmer with moisture. Fuck, it’s embarrassing as shit, and I quickly blink it away.

We stand without speaking for a few moments, absorbing what’s been said and just taking each other in.The look on his face is a combination of defeat and hope.There is so much being said in the silence, making this moment a pivotal one. It’s as if our souls both reached out, joined hands, and pulled each other a little closer.Finally, I offer him a small smile.

“What’s that smile mean?” he asks, the edges of his own lips starting to curl up.He takes a step closer to me. “Do I get to come out of the doghouse now?”He reaches out to gently tug on one of the loose strands of my hair before cupping the side of my face, and I let my smile grow a little wider.

“Yes,” I say, nodding, and leaning into his hand a little. “I get it.”

“Good,” he smiles back. “Thinking about letting me give you that first kiss now?” he asks, and that damn dimple pops along with his flirty smile.

I feel the glow in my own smile as I blink up at him and nod before he lowers his face to mine.

His lips brush against mine before finally connecting. It’s gentle, yet there is a small amount of pressure behind it. He holds the kiss there for a moment before sweeping his tongue across my lips to coax them open for him.It feels like liquid ecstasy is pouring down my throat to pool in my chest. It’s so intense and beautiful.When I open my mouth, he tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss, caressing my tongue with his.His motions are tender, yet he takes what he wants. My hands come up to hold on to his wrists.When he gently pulls away, he takes the breath from my lungs with him as our foreheads rest against each other. I close my eyes and try to even out my breathing, hanging onto each gust of air, hoping it will stretch the moment out longer.

“You should’ve done that a long time ago,” I say, when I can finally speak. I still can’t open my eyes yet though.

“I should’ve,” he agrees, “but that was more than worth the wait.”

14

Mayzie

Iexit my car with Penny quick on my heels, scrambling about to take in this new terrain in the beautiful neighborhood that Jack’s sister lives. Her beautiful Tudor style home sits on a lush green lawn, and is so grand it borders on mansion in size.

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