Page 55 of Hey Girl

Scooping up the two startled ferrets, I give them both a little kiss on the nose for reassurance. “This is Bubba Ray, and this is D Von,” I say, gently handing them both over to Chris.

He stares at them, wide eyed and delighted. “Oh my god, like the Dudley Boyz!”He cuddles them close, and they start crawling all over him.“Ha!Hey, that tickles!”

“Be gentle.They do bite if startled.”

“Oh.OK,” he whispers, watching and petting them as softly as he can manage.Which, I happen to know, is pretty soft.

“You can love on them while I clean out their cage,” I tell him, and he looks all too happy to oblige. After I change out their bedding and give them fresh food and water, Chris reluctantly sets them back in their abode and I hear a forlorn and familiar meow from the last kennel on the right.

I smile warmly and go over to unlatch the cage of the long-haired silver tabby.

“Who’s this?” Chris asks attentively, as I reach for the senior, female cat.

“This is Agatha, our oldest cat.” I’ve always felt so bad for her. She’s such a love, but she always gets passed over for the younger cats.

Without a word, he reaches for her, and I hand her over. He cuddles her like a baby and she starts purring in his arms as I turn to pull the bedding out of her cage, dropping it in the laundry basket.

“You know who would love you?” Chris coos at her as he sits down at one of the tables with the old cat. “My mother.” He reaches in his back pocket and pulls out his phone. With his free hand, he starts tapping at his screen. “I’m going to text that crazy hippie witch right now and tell her to get her ass down here to fill out an adoption form. Yes, I am,” he says affectionately to Agatha as she looks up and gives him the slow blink that tells you a cat is content.

“Oh my God, really?” I turn around from my task. “You think she’ll take her?”

“I’m ninety-seven point nine five percent sure of it,” he assures me. “I should get my stupid brother down here too,” he thinks out loud as he looks back down at Agatha, scratching his ears. “Having a pet would teach his little idiotic ass someresponsibility and humility, wouldn’t it?” He asks her in his goo-goo voice.

Warmed and delighted all over, I let Chris carry on with Agatha, sitting her in his lap like a kid and taking her little fluffy paws and having her drum them on the table, making little mock-percussion noises as he goes. I lift an eyebrow at him, not sure that’s a good way to handle the cat, but oddly, she looks perfectly happy and content to be used as a ventriloquist dummy, playing the part of a rock drummer.

Courtney strolls back in, carrying a basket of clean bedding for the cages and takes in the scene. As I relieve her of the basket, I see the cogs turning in her brain before she gasps.

“That’s where I know you from!” she proclaims and

Chris looks up at her blankly.

“You're the drummer from Turn it Up!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Chris dismisses her, going back to Agatha's drum solo on the table.

“Oh my God, if people only knew you were here, this place would be cleaned out in an hour!” She holds a finger out at him, and rather than rebuffing her, Chris purses his lips and looks up at the ceiling before over to me.

He cocks an eyebrow, looking like a mischievous cartoon villain.

“Babe?” I ask, lowering the basket. “What’s that look for?” My brat boyfriend ignores me and starts tapping on his phone again that lays on the table beside him. “Chris?” I demand to know what he’s up to. “Chris?”

“Jack,look at this puppy! LOOK at him!”

“Yep,” Jack awkwardly leans away. “I see him.”

“You know you want to take him home with you,” Chris prods, wiggling the little puppy in Jack’s face.

“I already have two big beasts at home, if you’ll recall,” Jack points out but lifts his hands to relieve Chris of the little dog. “But I’ll show him around.”

Jack walks off, cradling the puppy against his chest and walks out towards the taped off line where several fans are losing their minds. A sexy rockstar with a puppy… I have to say, I get it. Speaking of, my sexy drummer is now opening the bunny cage.

“Matt, you strike me as the kind of guy who likes bunnies. Here, take one of these two before they multiply!”

Jack comes back without the puppy and with several lipstick marks on his face. “Found an owner for the puppy,” he sighs, I’m pretty sure with relief. “A lady named Marlene has him and is filling out paperwork now. I think she’s naming him Jack.”

“Jack looks like he could use a shot of himself!” I quip and immediately crack up at myself with a few ladylike snorts coming out.

“Baby!” Chris whips around to face me. “I say that to him all the time, and he never laughs!”

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