Page 22 of Promising Little Poppy

Her friends hadn’t thought it was strange when she confided in them about the steamy kiss she shared with CJ. Where Poppy was worried that they might have thought it was silly that she was suddenly experiencing an attraction to a woman for the first time at twenty-seven, she was instead met with nothing but kindness and understanding. Poppy had known there were many ways people showed love and that loving someone of the same gender was just as natural as loving someone of theopposite sex like she thought she had in the past. Yet hearing that her friends understood and accepted her as well, made her feel a little more at ease over her rapidly changing feelings for the woman she had known for just a few short days.

But still, even after she told CJ that she was confident she wanted to try a dynamic that wasn’t strictly platonic, Poppy was nervous. Thankfully, CJ had been patient with this change, as she had been with every other challenge Poppy had thrown her Daddy’s way.

“She’s leaving Rawhide Ranch in a little more than a week. And I already like hersoooomuch,” Poppy whined. Her chest felt tight and she wanted to run, but her spot on the far side of the table made it nearly impossible to leave until those around her did so first. She’d taken the seat on purpose, trying to gradually push herself out of her comfort zone by putting herself in a place she couldn’t easily escape. But now that she was here and forced to face her fears, Poppy wished she would have stayed with her usual spot at the end of a table where she could have left without being blocked by several other people.

Finally, realizing she hadn’t finished her train of thought, Poppy continued, “I want to give CJ so much more than I already have, but I’m worried what it will do to my heart when she leaves.”

From around the table, several pairs of eyes looked at her with sympathy. “I think the only thing you really can do is to talk to her,” a newer Little to the Ranch, Mindy, said. “I know it’s hard to have the scary conversations, but sometimes, we have to have those conversations to save our hearts from getting hurt in the long run.”

It was solid advice Poppy thought she should heed.

Picking up her fork, Poppy shoveled a mouthful of creamy mac and cheese into her mouth before following it up with a biggulp of milk. “She hasn’t even kissed me since that night. Not even after I told her I was sure I wanted her inthatway.”

Billy pushed up from his side of the table, his break time nearing an end. “Have you ever thought that maybe your Daddy is just as afraid as you are? That maybe she is having the same thought you’re having, just in a different way? Talk to her, Poppy. The worst thing that can happen is that you find out you’re not on the same page. Isn’t it better to find out now before you let your heart get even more involved?”

Sometimes, Poppy thought it was obnoxious that her newfound group of friends were as intelligent as they were. In the past, it would have bothered her, made her feel like she was worthy of less than the rest of the group. But thanks to the help of her daily affirmations, she was beginning to accept that people had different strengths. And that while hers might not have been in having the hard conversations face-to-face, she did wonderfully when it came to other things like helping others and written communication. “I know, you’re right.”

With an adorable wink, Billy walked back behind the counter of the cafeteria like the sage Little he was. “I know. I always am!”

Poppy had expected the day to drag on. She was pleasantly surprised when the bell to her last class rang, signaling the end of another day in the Littles’ Wing. Running to CJ who waited for her at the end of the hall, Poppy quickly changed her pace to a walk when a nearby teacher sternly reminded her of the policy to walk like a proper Little girl when in the Littles’ Wing of the Ranch.

She looped her arms around her Daddy’s neck, snuggling in close to the familiar scent of the person she had come to cherish most in the entire world.

“Hey there, kitten. How was school today?” CJ’s voice was like hot tea on a cold day. Soothing and warm, comforting and comfortable.

Together, they talked about their day as they walked hand and hand, sharing stories about classes they had taken and people they had spent time with.

And as the floor beneath their feet changed from the stark, white tile of the Littles’ Wing back to the rich, warm wood of the resort, Poppy felt the anxiety of her decision to talk to her Daddy begin to skyrocket. “I actually do have something that I’d really like to talk to you about...”

CJ

CJ replied with a soft chuckle. “I can always tell when you’re feeling anxious about something by the sweet way you trail off at the end of your sentences like that. You know you have nothing to worry about, sweetheart. Would you like to go somewhere nice and quiet and talk to me in a more private setting?”

With a nod and a quietly spokenyes, Poppy and CJ walked until they found themselves in front of the large all-season greenhouse that was a recent addition to the grounds of the Ranch. The oversized structure was open for guests to visit and was a source of the delicious leafy greens, numerous other vegetables, fruits, and a plentiful amount of herbs that were served throughout the Ranch. Several classes were in the works for guests and residents to learn about creating their own potted gardens and gardening with limited space, as well as botany and flower arranging. While the greenhouse was generally a quiet location, mainly visited by staff working the various kitchens, it was nearly deserted now in late November despite its perfectly temperature-controlled environment and flourishing plants thatspread around the room as if spilled from the pages of a fancy gardening magazine.

Several seating areas had been carved out among the crops that grew in a variety of stages of maturation. And when the women took a seat next to one another on a wrought-iron bench, CJ swore she could smell not only Poppy’s powder-fresh scent that she had come to love, but the late-spring smell of tomatoes ripening on the vine that had no worldly reason to be in the late-November air of any place within the state lines of a cold, blustery Montana.

“What do I always tell you, Poppy?” CJ asked seriously.

Tangling her fingers in her lap, Poppy tried yet failed to meet her Daddy’s eyes with her own. “That I have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to talking with you.”

CJ steadied Poppy’s fingers, seeing the fidgeting for the nervous tic it was. And while she was normally happy to let Poppy fidget—finding it quite adorable and knowing it helped to calm her Little’s nerves—she knew that sometimes, it was also necessary to experience all the emotions, no matter how uncomfortable they made someone feel. “And that’s the God’s honest truth, sweetheart. So what do you say? Tell me what’s on your mind?”

With fingers that were only steady thanks to the woman next to her holding them still, Poppy shut her eyes tight, most likely thinking that maybe if she squeezed them hard enough, the entire moment would simply cease to exist and the embarrassment she seemed to be feeling would disappear.

Her Little had told her that she’d been afraid many times in her life. But CJ truly hoped Poppy wouldn’t be afraid to voice whatever she had to say to her Daddy.

Finally, just as CJ was beginning to think Poppy wouldn’t speak, her Little girl found some of the strength that, as her Daddy, CJ had worked to give her.

Poppy let out a long breath before admitting, “I’m afraid.”

Poppy’s voice was so quiet that CJ nearly missed it over the sounds working around them that sustained life in the greenhouse. Hoses trickled and fans blew warm air. Somewhere in the large building, a fountain played a gentle tune as it cascaded down stone into a koi pond below.

It was Poppy and CJ in the space, the only two souls in sight.

“Are you… afraid of me?” Even to her own ears, CJ’s voice sounded pained, as if a rusty nail had sprung up through the sole of her favorite sneakers.

Evidently, the sound was all Poppy needed to hear to instantly raise her head. “Oh my god, no!” She shook her head almost violently, the pigtails her Daddy had put in her hair that morning bouncing back and forth as she did. “I’mnotafraid of you, CJ.”

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