Page 71 of Where the Darkness Goes

If I go back into that party, I’m just going to want to leave. I’ll go home and pout while Garrett is here having fun.Notmissing me.

I don’t have to love Connor. This can just be fun. Britney is always having fun with guys, and she never gets her heart broken. I can do this.

“No,” I say firmly. The alcohol in my belly warms me, giving me courage. Britney was right about needing it to get through this. “No.” I step up on my tiptoes, kissing him again. His kiss is fine. Nothing spectacular or mind blowing, but maybe this is normal. Maybe you’re not supposed to end up with the guy whose kisses blow your mind because it hurts too much when you lose him.

Fineis enough.Fineis great.

I kiss him harder, faster, but he eases back, slowing our kisses down. Doesn’t he see I don’t want slow? I want fast. I want him to kiss me like I’m his first breath of oxygen after he nearly drowned. Like it’s my kiss solely that’s keeping him alive.

His hand slides down my side, grazing my breast, and I wrap a leg around him, pulling him closer. He’s being so gentle with me, and I hate it.

His hands wrap around me, cupping my ass, and I rock my hips forward, forcing away all thought. He presses closer to me, his hardness resting against my stomach.

Someone clears their throat in the darkness, and we jump apart like two kids being caught by their angry parents. As my eyes connect with Garrett’s outline in the moonlight, as the faintest scent of him hits my nose on the wind, my heart seizes.

“Sorry, man,ocupado,” Connor teases, cupping my shoulder.

Garrett doesn’t move. He doesn’t even look at him. Doesn’t acknowledge his presence. He’s only looking at me.

“Can you give us a minute?” I ask.

Connor waits for Garrett to answer, not realizing I’m looking at him.

Finally, Garrett glances his way. “She’s talking to you.”

Connor’s smile falls as he looks down at me. “Oh. Shit. Um, yeah, sorry. Okay. Well, I’ll, uh, be inside when you’re done.” He kisses my lips again, but only briefly. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” I’m not fine. I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack. Is this real? Is he really here?

With that, Connor makes his way back inside, leaving us alone in the moonlight. As the door shuts, Garrett crosses the porch, his footsteps so slow it’s painful. When he reaches the railing, he leans against it. Several excruciating seconds later, his eyes flick up to meet mine, and my heart rams itself into my ribcage like a feral animal caught in a trap.

It’s as if it screams, ‘Mine,’ at the mere sight of him.

As if it doesn’t know the devastating news yet. As if the rest of my body can’t bring itself to tell it.

Good.Better it doesn’t know, really.

“Didn’t realize musicians were your thing.” His voice is, at once, a balm and a strip of sandpaper scraped across my bare skin. I’ve missed him, yet I hate him. My emotions war inside me, and all I can do is stand here and stare at him, trying not to cry.

“Didn’t realize it was any of your business.”

He blinks. “How much have you had to drink?”

“A few drinks. I’m not drunk.”

His lips twitch, but otherwise his face is steady and unreadable. “Do you like him?”

“Why do you care, Garrett?”

“I’m curious.”

“You broke up with me. Then you ghosted me. I’m allowed to move on. To date other people. To kiss other people. To sleep with other people.”

He flinches at each word. Then, a slow nod. “If that’s what you want.”

It’s not what I want. What I want is to have him back. What I want is to understand why he left in the first place. “It’s all that I want.”

“Connor?”

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