Page 53 of Where the Darkness Goes

I’m going to die right here, right now.

Time of death, 11:13 p.m.

At the last second, she turns her head slightly, and from what I can tell, the kiss lands just next to her mouth.

I have just swallowed the sun whole, and it’s now living inside me, warming me from the inside, shining light on the entire room. I sit on the couch, then turn to adjust my legs, attempting to look more casual. I lie down, then sit up, resting against the arm.

When she walks in, I’m standing again, body stiff as a board.

She doubletakes, jolts, and claps a hand to her chest. “Jesus. Sorry. You scared me.” She shuts the door with another look my way. “I didn’t expect you to still be awake.”

“You thought I would go to bed without knowing you were safe?”

“I was fine,” she assures me. Then, more gently, she adds, “I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“Worried me.” I scoff. “Of course I worried about you. You were the one just saying there might be a killer on the loose.”

“I know that. What am I supposed to do? Hide away and refuse to live my life because of it?”

I inhale through my nose. She’s right. More than that, she doesn’t deserve this frustration. Even through my anger, I know she did nothing wrong. “Did you at least have a nice time?”

“Yes,” she says, but her voice betrays her. She didn’t have a nice time, but only a jerk would celebrate that.Right?“It was really nice, actually.”

Yeah, I bet.She has no idea I saw the way she brushed him off at the door. “Great. I’m glad. I’m going to bed.” I move around her and toward the hall, then into my bedroom and shut the door. I drop down on the bed, huffing a breath.

She’s going to make me lose my mind.

This woman is going to make me lose my damn mind.

I can hear her moving around in her room and know she’s probably undressing, probably recounting the night. Thinking of him. Maybe I misread that interaction at the door. I was far enough away, maybe she actually did kiss him back. My throat is too dry.

When I hear a buzzing from next door, my entire body goes on alert. Every hair on my neck stands on end as I hold my breath and listen.

Yes, there’s definitely a steady hum coming from the other side of the wall.Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh god. Is she…

My chest is tight. Is this what a heart attack feels like?Images of Tessa in bed, hand slipping under the covers, toy putting the pressure right where she needs it flood my mind.

Heat climbs my neck. I should give her privacy. Turn on my TV so I can’t hear anything. Better yet, I should go and take a cold shower and get my shit together.

Or…I could offer my assistance.

Just that thought has me on fire, my skin ablaze with thoughts of her. I move toward the wall instinctively, pressing my fingers against it.

This is so wrong.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

“No, fuck this,” I growl, pressing off of the wall and out of the room. I should burst in, demand to watch. Demand to join in. But I’m not an animal, despite my current feral state. I bang on the door and the buzzing stops. Caught red-handed. “Tessa, open the door.”

Within seconds, the door opens, and she stands in front of me, fully clothed in baby-blue silk pajamas—a matching shirt and shorts. Her lips are dripping with white foam, and in her hand, she holds a toothbrush.

An electric toothbrush.

Fuck me.

The balloon inside my chest deflates rapidly, as if it’s been popped with a needle.

---