Page 48 of Where the Darkness Goes

“Right. No matter how badly I wanted you, the idea of ever bringing that up to Will was terrifying. I thought he’d kick my assand never let me come over to the house again. I thought he’d tell me you were off limits.”

“Will isn’t the boss of me.”

We’ve stopped now, just along the wooden fence.

“I know. But he could ask me to stay away, or start coming to my house rather than having me over, and the idea of losing all of you in that way was enough to keep me quiet.” He rushes to add, “Not that you weren’t worth it, you know? It was just that you guys are my family, and if I couldn’t visit anymore?—”

“No, I get it,” I cut him off. “Truly. You’re at our house more than yours, and well, we’ve never really talked about it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t notice.”

His jaw is tight as he nods, and this seems to be the first uncomfortable part of the conversation for him, which is crazy to me. I know his family is large. He’s one of six kids, and they just found out his mom is pregnant again. They’re busy and overwhelmed, but they don’t seem like bad people.

Our house probably feels like an oasis, though, ordinary as it is. At least it’s quiet most days.

“Then I saw you at my party talking to Brendan, and I thought Will would be furious, but he just, well, he wasn’t. He said he was a ‘good dude.’”

I chuckle as Garrett does a convincing impression of Will with those last two words.

He looks down at me, eyes warming at my laughter. “And when I asked him about it, he just blew it off. Said he wasn’t the kind of brother who’d try to control who you dated and a bunch of other stuff that made me realize I’d had it all wrong. I was planning to talk to you about it, but then you were with Brendan and I panicked. Will was right. Brendanisa good dude, as much as I hate it, and I didn’t want to make enemies with him or hurt you if you didn’t feel anything for me. So, I guess I thought if I could just keep you from falling for him—” He rubs his lips. “Idon’t know what I thought, honestly. And then we played that game, and it seemed like if you had any feelings for me, even if they were way,waydown, it might help you realize you were with the wrong guy. But then we got in the closet and it was so real. I’d forced my way into the party because I was jealous of Brendan, but I had no idea what to do once I had a real shot with you.IfI had a real shot. I chickened out.”

“You were scared of kissing me?”

His eyes flicker down to meet mine, and his chest puffs with a deep breath that he slowly releases. “Terrified. I mean, I’ve kissed a few people before, but this is different. This is you. It means somethingbecauseit’s you.”

Warmth blooms in my chest, spreading like an ink stain. I bend over, setting my cup of cocoa down and wiggling it in place to create a space for it in the snow. I take Garrett’s without asking, setting it next to mine.

“Can I ask why you’re stealing my coffee?”

“Because.” I pinch my tongue between my teeth, twisting the cup until it stands in the snow on its own. “We are getting a do-over.”

“A do-over?” His brows wrinkle together.

“Unless you don’t want to.”

“No, I do,” he rushes to say.

I take both of his hands, holding them in mine. “Look, I don’t know what this is either, but I’m just a girl, Garrett. I’m just me. You can’t be scared of me.”

“I’m scared to hurt you. I’m scared to mess this up.”

“You won’t. I trust you.”

He closes his eyes, drawing in another long breath. “What are you saying?”

I lace my fingers with his. “I’m saying kiss me. And please don’t take seven minutes this time.”

Something changes in his stature. His shoulders and body language go from languid and nervous to dominant like the flick of a switch. He squares himself to me, stepping forward until our bodies are pressed together. His hand comes up to my cheek, thumb resting under my jawbone as he tilts my head up just a bit more. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip at the same time as he brushes mine with his thumb.

His eyes are dark and drunk with something heavy and hot, something I feel on every inch of my skin. The confidence I knew seconds ago is a distant memory as his eyes lock on my lips.

Then, oh so slowly, his lips descend on mine. The kiss is soft at first, testing, but his hands are on opposite sides of my head. Even when he’s gentle, he’s in control. Directing me, holding me, making me feel everything all at once until I’m dizzy.

I’m a feather floating through the air as a growl comes from somewhere deep in his throat, and then, without warning, he moves forward, easing me back until I’m pressed against the gate.

There’s nothing innocent about this now—nothing that feels like a first kiss with someone new. This is someone I know. Someone I want. Someone I feel like I’ve been meant to kiss all along.

Long, sure fingers tangle in my hair, and he turns my head, kissing my jaw before his hands are on my waist. His warm palms slide down my body. Stopping his descent, his thumbs press into my hip bones, shooting a jolt of lava through my insides. He lifts me up, and I gasp. He smiles against my mouth, and nothing has ever been so perfect and magical as this kiss, surrounded by chilly white tundra while my insides rage hot. He places me down on the top horizontal post of the gate, slipping his body between my legs, hands back in my hair.

It’s like he can’t get enough of me, and I revel in that power.

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