Page 31 of Where the Darkness Goes

He laughs, resting his forehead against mine.

“No,” I answer. “I’ve only kissed one other person besides Brendan.”

He nods against my skin. “Okay. Are you ready?”

“Been here waiting.”

“Can you not make me laugh right now?”

“What would you rather me do?”

“I have a few ideas.”

He’s either too nervous or worried I’m too nervous, but if one of us doesn’t act, we’re going to run out of time. I push up against him, shoving him harder than I meant to, and his back hits the wall of shelves. He groans and lurches forward as several quilts fall from their places, knocking us to the ground. Outside, I hear Britney squeal while Will teases, “Don’t forget you’re not alone if Jesus is in there.”

We’re both laughing from the impact and looking around at the damage when I realize Garrett is on top of me now, his bodybalanced over mine. Slowly, his head turns toward me, and we’re face to face, just inches apart. I can feel his warm breath on my lips. The rest of my body tingles with the same sensation I get when my arm falls asleep. “Are you okay?” he whispers, but he’s not moving.

“I didn’t mean to shove you that hard.” I’m whispering, too, but I don’t know why. We’re safe in here, in our cocoon. The world out there doesn’t exist. Consequences. Awkwardness. Dealing with our feelings. For now, everything can wait. All that exists in this moment is him and me and the racing of our hearts.

“I’m not complaining.” Slowly, ever so slowly, his arms bend and he lowers himself closer to me, stopping only when his nose is brushing mine. “I’m going to kiss you now before I chicken out.”

“I knew you were afraid of the dark.”

“Shut up.” He eases his body weight down on top of mine, silencing every single joke in my head as his hand brushes hair from my face, his thumb smoothing over my cheek. I feel his touch all the way down to my toes.

This is actually about to happen.

I’m going to kiss Garrett Campbell.

I close my eyes, despite the darkness, and hold my breath as I feel his lips inch forward slowly, too slowly. They brush mine, feather light and not nearly enough. My heart is racing so fast my chest is going to explode and then—light.

“Time’s up!” The door swings open, and our cocoon evaporates.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

GARRETT — AGE 18

I can’t sleep.

I can’t fucking breathe, let alone sleep. How am I supposed to sleep after what just happened? It was real, and she was real, and I was…

I shake the thoughts out of my head, angry with myself for reasons I don’t totally understand. Will thinks it’s funny more than anything, but he has asked for absolutely no details so I can’t talk it over with him.

Not that I would want to, I guess.

Yet another con in the column for choosing to have feelings for my best friend’s little sister.

Choosingdoesn’t feel like the right word for this. The feelings justare.They exist with or without my consent to them being here. Besides, is that what this is? Like, legit feelings? Do I want todateher?

I’ve never wanted to talk to my own little sister this much in my life. Jenny would know what to do. Other than some initial awkwardness with Brendan where nobody seemed to know if they were still a thing, and none of us addressed it, the rest of the party went off without a hitch. After we left the closet, Britney decided she didn’t want to play the game after all, which didn’tactually fool any of us, so we broke out a few board games, and Will and I kicked their butts at each and every one.

I’ve never had such an uneventful Friday night in my life.

But I’ve also never had a better one.

I scrub my hand over my face. If this is the best night of my life, and I didn’t even get to kiss her, what wouldmorefeel like? Would I survive it?

I roll over on the air mattress, bumping into Will, who groans and swats me. “Just go talk to her, bro. You’re keeping the neighbors awake with all that loud pining.”

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