Page 47 of Heir of the Autumn Queen

“My father sent her away to become a priestess in a temple far away, having deemed her anunworthymatch for his son.” Even though it was so long ago, Finn’s voice holds pain, and I can tell he grieved the loss of his first love for a long time.

“I’m so sorry, Finn.”

He shrugs and runs a hand through his hair.“Like I said, it was a long time ago.”

“What about your friend?” I can't imagine he wanted to get his sister sent away when he confronted them about their relationship.

Finn smiles fondly.“He’s still my best friend. He was as devastated as I was when Yaz was sent away, but we’ve hada lotof time to work through it.”

“Is he an aengel too? Or your father?" From what I know, they’re originally descended from Aeron, the first aengel, but I don't know how common they or their bloodlines are now.

“My friend is, yes. My father, no. He only possesses the magic bestowed upon the Ravencrest family by the gods, which grants him a longer lifespan and the ability to manipulate shadows, like myself.” Before I can ask another question, he cuts me off.“What about you?”

While I'm dying to know more about his kind and his past, I resign myself to ask another time.“I already told you about my riveting sexual history.” I cringe at my self-inflicted embarrassment.

Finn chuckles.“Just because you’re a virgin doesn’t mean you haven’t had a partner.”

He makes a good point.“There was someone, back in Staghorn. I think we both felt something, but neither of us made a move, and then I left.”

“And who was this lucky male who managed to capture your attention?” Finn bristles ever-so-slightly.

“Are you… jealous?” I tease with a grin.

Without missing a beat, he answers me, deadly serious. “I’m jealous of anyone who knows you better than I do. I’m jealous of anyone who gets to see your smile or hear your laugh. I’m jealous of yourgodsdamned clothes, because they get to touch you all day, and I don’t.”

His candidness shocks me into silence, my smirk vanishing from my face as his eyes bore into mine.

“So yes, I’m jealous of the boy who you deemed worthy of your partnership.”

I clear my throat, choosing to ignore the magnitude of his confession. “His name is Cedric. He’s a blacksmith’s apprentice; the one who made my dagger.” I unsheathe it from my thigh and show it to him.“A gift for my twentieth birthday.”

Finn admires Cedric’s work before handing it back to me, his tone thankfully less severe than a moment ago.“Would you have stayed if you were together?”

I consider his question carefully.“I think I still would’ve left,” I say, knowing that my bond with Cedric wouldn’t have been strong enough to keep me there, keep me from doing what I feel like I’m supposed to do.

“And why, exactly, did you leave in the first place?” Finn asks, and I debate whether or not to reveal more truths.

I'm still hesitant about being totally honest in the name of self-preservation, but ultimately, I decide he deserves to know the truth after everything we’ve been through, at least partly.“I found out that my parents were actually my godparents, and that they’d been lying to me my entire life.”

Finn purses his lips. “So you left to find your real parents?”

“I left because I need to figure out who I am without the lies of who I was raised to be following me around,” I say, dodging his actual question.

“You resent your godparents, then?” he guesses.

I shrug.“I resent the fact that they lied to me, but they’re still the only parents I’ve ever known. I still love them.” Finn nods, never taking his eyes off me.“What about you? Besides your first love, what was life like growing up as thePrince of the Winter Kingdom?” He's hinted at his father's cruelty and lack of love in the past, but I still want to know more.

If I'm honest with myself, I want to know everything about him.

Shadows seep out of him as pain darkens his eyes briefly before he seems to notice and gets control of his emotions, reining in the darkness.“My mother died giving birth to my younger brother, and my father was always hard on us. We were a living reminder of his grief.” My heart swells with empathy hearing that he grew up without a mother, with a father who resented his very existence.

“Where’s your brother now?” I ask, surprised he hasn’t mentioned him before.

“He died as a boy. A sickness of the blood, they said. My father hired the finest healers and the most talented witches from all across the land. No one could save him.” Finn stares into the fire, a mask of practiced indifference darkening his features.

Knowing that no words can heal the hurt of his past, I follow my instincts and rise out of my chair to come and sit on his lap. I massage his scalp with my nails lightly, tracing idle circles in his hair.“I’m so sorry, Finn.”

“It’s in the past,” he says, still emotionally distant after revealing so many details about himself, first with Yazmina and now with his little brother.

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