Page 12 of Heir of the Autumn Queen

“Okay.” I give him a weak smile. He turns and walks away,leaving me standing by the forge, sort of in a daze. A loud bang of a hammer makes me flinch, and I walk to the courtyard and sit on the same bench where we sat yesterday. I’m fiddling anxiously with the fold in my shirt when Cedric emerges, looking very handsome in a black tunic and linen pants.

“What’s up?” He takes a seat next to me, his hands folded in his lap.

“I, um…” I stutter, not knowing where to start.“I came to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” His brows furrow.

“Yes.” I’m suddenly at a loss for words.

“Where are you going?” he asks, sounding sort of amused.

“I’m leaving Staghorn,” I say, since that’s really all I know about where I’m going.

Cedric is silent for a long moment.“People don’t leave Staghorn,” he says simply, his always-logical mind making an appearance.

“I know,” I admit, acutely aware of how little I know about how I’m actually supposed to do that.

“Why?” Curiosity replaces his playful tone from a moment ago.

“I…” I take a deep breath.“Let’s just say it’s something I have to do,” I say, not really wanting to get into all the details about everything that Sibyl told me.

He nods silently, maybe not with understanding, but with acceptance.

“I just felt like I shouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. You’re one of my closest friends and… I’ll miss you.” The last part is hard for me to voice, both because I’m not good at beingvulnerable with people, and because it’s an acknowledgment of what could’ve been. I stand up and start pacing, suddenly not knowing what to do with all of the nervous energy in my body.

Cedric stands too, reaching out to stop me. His calloused hands land on my shoulders, and before I can even process what’s happening, he leans down and kisses me. I’m surprised at first, but it takes me all of one second to return the kiss, standing on my tip-toes and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms move to my waist and he holds me tight against his chest, kissing me deeply.

It’s lovely and sad, an admission on both our parts that we could’ve been something more, but never admitted it to each other. And now it’s too late, which makes this moment extra bittersweet. We pull back from the kiss at the same moment and hug for several more seconds, both of us afraid to let go and let the moment end.

Finally, Cedric clears his throat and leans back, looking down at me. He tucks a strand of my chestnut hair behind my ear.“I’ll miss you too.”

He turns and walks away without another word, leaving me in the courtyard to ponder if leaving my home is really the right thing to do.

∞∞∞

I walk back to Briar’s house to wait for her there, not wanting to go home and talk to my godparents about my decision to leave yet. Although, it’s possible that Killian has already mentioned my plan and his involvement in helping me get through the mountains.

I wait for my best friend in her sitting room, grateful to have some time alone to formulate some semblance of a plan. Iperuse her bookshelves for anything that might be useful to me on my journey, but her collection mostly includes steamy romance novels and ancient grimoires. One title catches my eye, a book that I haven’t picked up for ages. I’ll pray to the gods occasionally, but I’m nowhere near as devout as the priests and priestesses who dedicate themselves to the maintenance of the temples across the continent.

I pull out Briar’s copy ofThe Word of the Motherand flip it open to a random page, silently asking Dafina for some guidance.

Amidst the tapestry of life, find balance in all things. As the sun and moon dance in unison, so too must you harmonize the dualities within yourself. Embrace the light and dark within, for they are the complementary forces that shape your being.

Embrace the light and dark? How can one embrace the darkness within themselves without letting it consume them?

Nurture the sacred bond with Mother Earth, the embodiment of my essence. Cherish her bountiful gifts, for they sustain your very existence. As stewards of the Earth, treat every creature, every tree, and every droplet of water with reverence. For in their interconnectedness lies the intricacy of life's grand design.

Beautifully said, Dafina, but not exactly helpful in my current situation. Shutting the book with a loud snap, I sigh in frustration and put it back in its spot on the dusty shelf, heading outside to sit on the porch. I unsheathe my dagger from my thigh and balance it on my finger, just like I did when Cedric gave it to me.

The patter of approaching footsteps on the dirt road draws my attention upwards, and a second later Briar comes into view,holding a large book under one arm. She smiles when she sees me on the porch, but it’s not her usual bright smile. She looks subdued and almost defeated, which I imagine means she did not receive good news from her coven.

“Hey,” I call out as she gets closer, lifting my hand to my brow to shield my eyes from the setting sun.

“Hey.” She sits next to me on the steps.“So, good news, and bad news. Which one do you want first?”

“I could use some good news, I guess.”

She sets the book down next to her and turns to look at me.“The good news is, I’ve got some protection spells I can do to keep us safe from the natural elements as we travel.”

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