Page 68 of Virgin Skin

I sneak a glance at Milo, holding my breath and waiting for the conversation to reach its end, preferably without anyone noticing I didn’t bother to weigh in. I was never against the idea of forever with someone, I guess part of me just never really believed it would happen.

“Ready to go home?” Milo sounds casual, but I can see the color in his cheeks and the way his eyes dart nervously to Hero, then back to me.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

MILO

I cling to Piston, pressing my body against his back as we cruise down the road towards home. My heart hammers so hard I wonder if he can feel it thundering against his back. I woke up this morning and part of me wanted to say ‘never mind’ to the whole conversation we planned for tonight. We don’t have to figure anything out yet. It’s too soon to risk everything.

I tighten my grip on the buttery soft leather of his jacket and try to force myself to breathe evenly. If he tells me it’s over, that I’m not worth risking his friendship with Hero, I’m pretty sure I’m going to do something fucking embarrassing like cry or beg or… fuck, I don’t even know what. All I know is that my heart has been in my throat all day thinking about it, and I don’t know if I can take it.

We pull into the driveway and then coast straight into the garage. He cuts the engine then swings his leg over to dismountthe bike. My knees wobble as I pull off my helmet and scramble after him.

“What are you in the mood to have for dinner?” he asks casually, like my fate and future aren’t hanging in the balance as we speak. Okay, that may be a little dramatic, butstill.

There’s no time for food. I need to know what he’s thinking right this second or I’m going to come unglued. But at the same time, I want to cover my ears and hum really loudly so I won’t hear whatever he’s going to tell me. Oh god, I think I’m going to puke, actually.

“Mi?” Piston says softly.

How can he stand there looking so concerned and so damn sweet when he might be seconds away from breaking my heart? It’s not fair.

I force a smile and take off my jacket and shoes while he stands still, watching me, waiting for me to say something. An answer about dinner? An explanation for why I’m being so weird and quiet? I don’t know. Maybe he’s as mixed up about this conversation as I am, dreading it and anxious to get it over with all at once.

“Maybe, um… let’s talk first and figure out dinner after?” I suggest, dragging my hands through my hair.

“Sure.” The tension in his face relaxes and he smiles, likereallysmiles at me.

Is that a good sign? Please, please, please let it be a good sign.

I drag my feet a little as I follow him into the living room. Piston takes a seat on the couch, but I’m too keyed up to do the same. Instead, I wander over to give Quincy some attention. With my back to Piston and the adorable little amphibian smiling and following the path my finger traces along the glass, the conversation feels slightly less daunting.

“So…” I clear my throat. I don’t have the first fucking clue how to have a conversation like this. I’m the relationship virginhere, shouldn’t Piston be taking the lead? I suppose he’s just as new to fooling around with his close friend’s son, so he might be just as out of his element as I am.

“None of this went the way I planned for it to go,” he says.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I was wrong, I can’t take this at all. I’m too fragile for this kind of rejection. I make a kissy face at Quincy, ignoring the way my throat is tightening and my eyes are already burning, preparing to unleash a downpour of tears.

“You know what? I think I was wrong. We don’t need to talk about this right now.” My voice sounds high and frantic, and Quincy swims away to hide in one of his many underwater buildings. Lucky axolotl. I wouldloveto drown myself in a sunken city right about now.

“Mi.” Piston’s voice is much closer than I was expecting, his warm breath ghosting against the nape of my neck. “Let me finish?”

I swallow hard and nod, still staring into the tank even though my little friend is hiding now.

“My immediate attraction to you the night we met was unexpected, finding out you’re Hero’s son was unexpected, and falling for you has been extremely fucking unexpected.”

My breath catches and a million new questions jump to the forefront of my mind.

Does“falling for me”mean falling in love with me?

Is unexpected a bad thing?

Does he see a future?

Does hewanta future?

I bite my tongue and wait though.

It feels like a fucking eternity of trying not to squirm and trying not to interrupt him with a barrage of questions before he finally speaks again.

---