Page 61 of Virgin Skin

I chuckle again and finish off my drink, signaling to Sawyer for a refill.

“You couldn’t have done any worse than Mom.” I wince as soon as I say it. “Not that she was a bad mom. She’s the best.”

“No, I get it. I think all of our parents fuck us up in one way or another.”

I bob my head again. “I talked to her the other day. I asked why she didn’t tell you about me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s not a very satisfying answer, unfortunately. She just said she was confused, and she felt like her life was a whole mess and she didn’t want to drag you into it too. I guess she felt like she was protecting you.”

Hero grunts, and the sound kind of reminds me of Piston. A fresh drink appears in front of me, and I try to sip this one slower.

“I don’t want to say anything negative about your mom.” He stares at his beer for a minute, then looks over at me. “That’s kind of bullshit though. I wish I’d known.”

“Really?” I chew on my thumbnail and lean one elbow on the bar. “You were only eighteen though.” I try to think back to what a kid I was at eighteen. No way could I have handled someone telling me I was going to be a dad. Setting aside the fact that it would have been literally impossible, it would have been the world’s biggest mindfuck.

“It would have been tough, but at least you can deal with the shit you know about. We would have figured it out, even if it was hard.”

Bile rises in the back of my throat, and I realize for the first time why Piston’s been feeling so guilty. Hero likes to know shit. He likes to deal with it, even when the information sucks or is uncomfortable. I should just tell him.

Fuck, is that even my place?

Sure, we share DNA, but if I fuck up their friendship I’ll never get a chance to see where things might go with Piston.

He takes a small sip from his drink, and I give up trying to go slow with mine and gulp down the whole glass again. The soda in it doesn’t do much to cut the burn of the alcohol when I drink it that fast, and it leaves me feeling a little lightheaded.

“Things going well over at Piston’s place? He’s not being too much of a nag, is he?”

Fuck, I need more alcohol. Since my glass is empty, I crunch down on an ice cube, chewing it while I buy myself a few seconds to think. Is this the opening I need to tell him the truth? Should I lie?

“He’s great. It’s great.” I give a weak laugh and look anywhere but Hero.

“Good.” He squeezes my shoulder. “And how are you liking Ink Slingers?”

I let out a breath as the conversation shifts into safer territory.

“It’s awesome. It’s probably not a forever job or anything, but the guys are cool and it’s interesting enough to keep me from dying of boredom.”

He chuckles. “Good,” he says again. “What’s a ‘forever job?’ Have you thought about that?” He grimaces as he says it. “Fuck, that sounded so parental. That’s probably a good thing, right?”

“It’s fine.” I give him a half-smile. “Honestly, I have no fucking clue. I keep hoping that my ‘purpose’ or whatever will just fall into my lap. I’m starting to doubt it though.”

“You’re young, there’s time.”

“Yeah,” I say, and we share another smile.

This is nice. I don’t know if it feels ‘parental,’ but it’s nice all the same. It feels good to fit in here so easily, with his friends, in Fall Crosse… I didn’t expect it to feel so natural, but it does. Maybe some things do fall into place when you need them to.

Sawyer slides a third drink in front of me along with a bottle of water, and Hero asks if I play pool.

“Not well.”

He grins. “Perfect.”

PISTON

The house felt empty all night. I’ve lived alone for twenty-some years and Milo has been here less than a month, but for some fucking reason I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t feel like bothering with dinner, so I just ate a handful of lunch meat while standing in the middle of the kitchen. After that, I tried to watch TV, but every show I went to start, I ended up stopping because I thought Milo would like it too. So here I am, lying in bed at nine o’clock at night, staring at the ceiling, listening for the sound of Hero’s motorcycle dropping Milo off.

---