Page 115 of Family Bonds- Jarrett & Andi

“You have more control than you realize,” Jack said. “People make decisions in Witness Protection that pull them out of it, but then they are on their own. I’d never advise that to you or anyone else. Don’t think that.”

“It goes back to choices. I know. I just have to trust that you and Jarrett know what you’re doing and try to live my life without this big black cloud hanging over my head.”

“Is it that big of a black cloud, Andi? Or are you being dramatic?”

“I never thought I was a dramatic person before, butit’s possible that I am. I see things I want that are within reach. I’m not sure I’ve seen them before this all happened in my life. There is part of me that is still adapting.”

“Change is hard,” Jack said. “I know. Why do you think I’m still single? I can’t change nor can I be what someone wants. One thing you’ve got working for you, that maybe Jarrett sees or is banking on, is that your father was in law enforcement. You know what the life is like. You talk fondly of your father, not that he wasn’t around for you. You side with him more than your mother who left. Like lots of women leave and you know why.”

She’d never thought of it from that point of view.

Maybe Jarrett had such a hard time finding someone in the past and knew she was the one. They’d talked about that too.

“That’s a good reminder that I needed to have. It’s going to be fine. I appreciate you talking to me about it. I know you’re busy.”

“Where is Jarrett now?” Jack asked.

“He’s working,” she said. “He’ll be here in an hour or so. I had a light day, but he got held up.”

“Does that bother you when he gets held up?” Jack asked.

“Never,” she said.

“Remember that. Maybe remind him of it too.”

She sighed. “Because it bothered you when you were late when you were with Sarah. I know it bothered my father.”

“That’s right,” Jack said. “Give a little for him and maybe it will relieve some of your mind too.”

“Good advice,” she said.

An hour later, Jarrett came in and she had dinner on the table. She moved over to kiss him. “How was your day?”

“Busy,” he said. “Normal for me.SorryI’m late.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. She was going to listen to Jack. “Never. It’s your job and your career and I know you love it. I expect this happens a lot and I’ve never once said I minded, have I?”

“No,” he said.

“And I never will. I promise. I knew going in these things could happen and I don’t ever want you to feel bad about it. Or guilty.”

“Thanks for that,” he said. “I’ve watched my mother never have an issue with it. Sidney doesn’t either. Even Jennie with Alex.”

“And you see how lucky they are to have found that and you haven’t. You found it. Consider yourself lucky.”

He laughed and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “I am lucky. And sorry if I crowd you. I have to weigh my guilt at times.”

Which was what Jack said and now she felt like an idiot.

“Don’t do that,” she said. “If you think us spending more nights together so you can give me that time makes a difference, it doesn’t. When you work late and just want to go home to bed, it doesn’t matter which bed you’re in. I’m a phone call away if you need or want to talk, but sometimes you need to not have the distraction of me in the house if you’re still trying to work. To worry I’m there and you need to pay attention to me. Know I’m here and fine.”

“I probably needed to hear that more than I realized,” he said. “See, you’re good for me.”

“Remember that,” she said. And realized that small conversation lightened her mind too.

39

GOING WITH HIS GUT

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