Page 63 of Christmas Criminal

"Don't tell her that," Christina says.

"I'm not throwing any more eggs!" I give them both a look. "No, I think I feel begrudgingly better being in this town after having stuck up for myself. Do you remember Louis Prince, who sent that fucking picture asking if I had an STD?"

My mom's jaw clenches. If someone had handed her an egg back then, I'm sure she would have thrown it in his face and taken the community service as happily as I did. "I remember."

"I told him off yesterday. He came up to me all nice, like, asking how I've been, and I told him I was happy I learned who he was before I got stuck. And he got all sputtery and I walked away. I mean, sure, you could argue it was almost ten years ago, but it significantly changed the trajectory of my life, and he doesn't get to wander through life thinking he's hot shit whenhedid thatto someone."

Christina nods. "Good for you, Noelle."

"I also might have given Dad a piece of my mind yesterday, too."

Christina's head tips back. "Noelle," she groans.

"I feel justified. He came up to apologize and said that he didn't realize you were hurt when you broke your leg–he thought you werejust upset–and I'm sorry, but I don't think that's good enough. So I told his daughters that they deserve someone who shows up whether they're hurting on the outsideorthe inside."

"You're his daughter too, you know," she reminds me.

"And I think all six of us deserve better than what we got."

"Six?"

My mom shakes her head. "Do not tell me that man hasanotherfamily."

I laugh. "No. I'm including you and the harlot, too."

She holds a hand over her face. "Oh, Noelle."

"What? Can we all say it? Agree that we deserved better?" I turn to Christina. "If you want a relationship regardless, I will support you. But that doesn't change the fact that we deserved better."

My mom pats Christina's cast. "We did deserve better than that."

"He can't change the past," Christina insists.

"No, he can't. And if you're willing to forgive him for that, I promise I will not stand in your way. But I will not stop standing up for you when he should be showing up and he doesn't."

Christina nods. "I suppose that's fair." She shakes her head, laughing. "You know, I feel like we've traded places since high school. I used to be the first person screaming and throwing a tantrum the second anyone said a word about you. Now you're the one rushing to my defense when Dad continues to be the same person he's always been."

I shrug. "I've spent a lot of my life accepting what others are willing to give me rather than demanding they treat me well." I swallow. "It's weird and uncomfortable but I think I'd rather that be the case than just swallowing down how I feel." I shake my head. "When I'm in this town, I feel like I have to scream at the world that I'm a different person now. That I'm not the Noelle who deals with bullshit anymore, but the one who's made something of herself."

"You don't have to scream it, you know," Christina tells me, squeezing my hand.

"I feel like I do. Like if I don't scream it, old Noelle is going to kick in again and Ican'tgo back. I can't shrink into the shell of a human I once was." My mom and sister look at me with sad smiles on their faces. "I'm happy now. And sometimes being in this place makes me feel like I used to. Like everything I've worked for is so close to crumbling."

"So, I take it you willnotbe moving here with your sister," my mom says.

I shake my head. "I don't think it's good for me to be here too long. Before we know it, I'll be overcorrecting and shouting profanities at people from the town square."

"That guydidget arrested," my mom tells me.

"Oh great, so the position is open."

My mom reaches over Christina and rests her hand on top of ours. "I hope you know that you don't have to scream, honey. You don't have to hide out in the city to feel like you'll go unnoticed. This town loves you, whether you love them back or not, and whenever you're here, you can bet your sister and me, and Hank, and maybe even that nice math teacher you've befriended? We'll all come running the second you need us."

I do my best to ignore the math teacher comment. If I think about him a second longer, I'm sure the color will rise in my cheeks. "Thanks, Mom. I'm not sure this is a good place for me. Regardless of all the good people here."

She nods. "Well, I tried my hardest. But my Noelle always does what she has to, to take care of herself."

I sigh. "I have a life that I really like now."

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