Page 45 of Christmas Criminal

They all consisted of saying something different at the time, in that little alcove in the high school where we last spoke.

But I guesslateis better thannever.

I glance up at Nick as if he's some sort of safety net. He squeezes my shoulders. "He deserves to know that what he did had lasting effects. And even if he doesn't listen, you deserve to say it."

"I don't know."

"Don't feel pressured," he says, his fingers moving in small circles on my shoulders in the most distracting way. "But I think it might be cathartic for you."

He glances at them and then back at me.

"Do you want to pretend?" he asks, his hands moving down to my upper arms and squeezing.

I bite my lip.No, I don't want to pretend–I want it to be real. "Yeah."

He nods, taking a moment to run his fingers through my hair. His eyes follow the movement, his thumb brushing against my temple and continuing down until the strands fall flat against my coat. Goosebumps pop up along my skin that are thankfully hidden by my coat.

I think I could probably stay in this moment forever, his eyes on mine and his hands in my hair.

But he turns, throwing an arm around my shoulders, and tugs me into his side, that now familiar scent of s’mores infiltrating my senses.

I wrap my arm around his waist, and a second later, his lips brush against the side of my head.

The contact makes my breath catch, and I freeze in place, wishing he would stay right there, just like that.

But by the time I glance up at him, his attention has moved elsewhere. To the couple now standing in front of us, wide grins on their faces.

"Noelle, so nice to see you," Stacy says, and I begrudgingly look at her.

"Nice to see you, too," I say, even though the only thing Iwantto see is Nick's hands on me. His arm around my shoulder. I wish I could have a bird's eye view of this moment so I could see what we look like together. If this comfort I feel right now is visible from the outside. If we fit as well as it feels like we do.

"Glad to see you're doing well," Louis says, and I don't miss the way he throws an arm around Stacy's shoulder. Like he's mirroring us.

"Very well," I say. My eyes drift up to Nick's, and my heart stutters when he grins down at me.

I know it's all for show, but there's a little part of me that warms to this. Like maybe it doesn'thaveto be so fake.

"I don't think I've seen you since your last day of school," Louis says.

The last day of school where he met me in the alcove between lockers because he didn't want to risk our goodbye getting around to Stacy. Even though our goodbye amounted to no more than him, brow furrowed, telling me he was sad I was leaving but hoped we could remain on good terms.

As if he wasn't the reason I was leaving.

I, being the dumb high schooler I was, didn't chew him out the way I should have.

"Yeah. After you started spreading rumors that I had an STD, high school wasn't a very fun place anymore."

Nick snorts. Stacy's mouth drops open. Louis's face turns a truly delightful shade of crimson.

"I hope you know I didn't mean for that to happen. And I mean, it was so long ago..."

I stare at him, swallowing down every inclination in me that's telling me to run and find somewhere to hide. To take back my words or laugh them off with a joke.

"It was just a picture," he says.

I wait a moment before speaking. "Well, what was to you a picture, was the end of high school for me." I glance at Stacy. "I'm happy you're happy together." I turn back to Louis. "But I'm more happy that I learned who you are before I ended up stuck with you."

I glance at Nick, who nods subtly at me. Like he's proud of me.

---