Page 106 of Christmas Criminal

Because everyone is staring at me. I have to squint to see their expressions and I probably look like a psychopath with my rapidly swelling eye. Christina has a slight smile on her face, and Naomi is grinning like the Cheshire cat. Noelle presses herself into me, her hands running soothingly across my back.

And apparently Ican'tshut up. "And I hate that he's part of the reason you hate this town. It's not fair that he's the one who fucked up but I'm the one who suffers for it."

"You'rethe one who suffers for it?"

I look at the ceiling through blurry eyes. "You don't want to be here. And that'smyloss. Not his."

"Nick," she says. "I'll find a way to be here."

"What does that even mean? We'll take turns visiting each other on weekends? Every other Friday you'll work remotely and come an extra day? That's not good enough for me. I want more and I hate that it's on the tip of my fingers and I can't reach out and take it." My fingers dig into her skin like the harder I hold on, the more likely it is she'll stay.

She rests a hand on my chest. "I will be here," she says, her voice sure. "I promise you, right now, I'll be here. I'll figure out how to work remotely more often. I'll give up my apartment and move closer." She stands on her toes to kiss me, and it's all I can do tohold onto her.

She lowers her voice when she speaks again, her words only for me. "I want more, too. I want you. And I promise you that I will always let my love for you guide me rather than my hatred for him."

She's not saying shelovesme, but sheissaying that she's open to it. That I matter more than her experience here.

And I think there was a part of me that really needed to hear that, because my breath comes whooshing out of my chest like I've been holding onto it for the last few weeks.

"Noelle," I breathe, wrapping her tight in my arms and closing my eyes, my cheek pressed against her head.

"It's a Christmas miracle," Hank says, breaking the silence around us.

"Gross," Naomi mutters, as she turns on her heel and heads back to the couch.

Noelle leans away from me, running her thumb along my cheek again. "Who woulda thunk, a month ago when I started my community service, that we'd end up here?"

I see movement over her shoulder and squint in that direction.

And if I'm not mistaken, Hank winks at me.

Santa, indeed.

23

NOELLE

Wednesday, December 25th

We get Nick set up on the couch with a bag of frozen peas over his eye and continue Christmas where we left off. With the commotion of the day, my mom didn't have time to prepare her usual dinner, so she puts out the easy dishes–anything that she can microwave or throw in the stove for half an hour–and we put in an order at our favorite Chinese takeout place and fill the coffee table with food and drinks and the presents that we still haven't gotten through.

I sit on the floor in front of the couch, where Nick has his head tipped back so he doesn't have to hold the peas on his face.

While Naomi and Cassidy fight over who gets the surprisingly obscene apple my mom originally wrapped for Christina, I stand and lean over him so I can talk to him without drawing attention.

"We don't have to stay if you're in pain. I think we have more than a good enough excuse to head out early if you want," I say, running my hand through his hair.

He shakes his head violently, holding onto the peas so they don't fly off his face. "No way. It'sChristmas. I'm not leaving because of a black eye. You're going to have to try harder than that if you want to leave early."

I laugh, patting his knee and resuming my spot at his foot. "Well, at least we know that punch didn't break your Christmas spirit."

He pats along my arm until he can find my head, and runs his fingers through my hair. I rest my head on his leg, content to let him pet me until he's ready to go home.

Hank has offered to drive anyone and everyone home, if need be. Harriet has had more than her fair share of wine, and graciously accepted the offer so she could have another glass with my mom. Christina will be staying here for the night, though that plan didn't deter her from asking if Nick has a spare room because she'd rather hearusthanMom.I only raised an eyebrow at her and asked if she was sure about that, and she quickly swallowed her words, shaking her head.

We split our food family-style, filling up plates and passing containers and making the most of a holiday that turned out nothing like we expected but better than we could have imagined.

When our food is done and our presents have been distributed out somewhat evenly between all of us, Hank herds Harriet, Naomi, and Cassidy into his car to take them home, leaving the four of us sitting around a messy Christmas coffee table.

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