Page 22 of Cursed Wolfsbane

I open my eyes to see Xander staring at me with concern. “Where’d you just go?” At his question, a hysterical giggle slips out. I slap my hand over my mouth and shake my head at him. There’s zero chance of me telling Xander that I accidentally summoned Dido. He flicks his eyes between mine for a moment before sighing heavily. “I’m sorry.”

That’s definitely not how I expected Xander to respond. Yelling or insulting me is more like it. “For what?”

“For conditioning you to expect me to hurt you whenever we talk.” A tear slips down my cheek. I manage to hold the rest back, but Xander gently swipes it away with his thumb. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

“Sorry,” I whisper, not wanting to break the fragile moment between us.

His lips twist up in a ghost of a smile. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Just because I can’t mate with you doesn’t mean I want to hurt you.”

My stomach drops as I process what he said, and my heart splinters so hard at his rejection that I wonder if they can hear the crack echoing around his office. I knew Xander didn’t wantme, but I didn’t realize he wasn’t ever planning on giving me a chance.

His words shouldn’t hurt so much. It shouldn’t feel like my heart’s been ripped out, plunged into an acid bath, and nailed to a wall. His words shouldn’t make a broken howl ring out in my mind, my wolf’s pain adding to mine.

But they do.

“For absolute fuck’s sake, Xander! You were doing so well for a second, but you had to go and ruin it. Fucking hell!” Bastian shoves his twin out of the way before kneeling down and gently sliding my underwear and shorts back into place. Once I’m dressed again, Bastian grabs the back of my thighs and lifts me up. Pressing my head to his shoulder and securing my legs around his waist, Bastian snarls, “Get your fucking head out of your ass, Xan, before you lose the best thing to ever happen to you. Permanently.”

CHAPTER 10

BRIAR

Bastian keeps my head nestled against his neck as he storms out of Xander’s office, but I’m able to get a last glimpse of Xander as we go. His face is turned up to the ceiling, and his hands are laced behind his head. With his mouth set in a grimace and his eyes squeezed tightly shut, he doesn’t look like he feels any better than I do.

I swear I see a tear run down his face, but that doesn’t make any sense. He’s the one that doesn’t want me, not the other way around. Even though I know he’d push me away, I still have the urge to hug him.

We’re in Bastian’s office before I have a chance to do something stupid like ask to go back to comfort Xander. Bastian kicks the door closed and walks over to his desk chair. He plops into it while still holding me. I move my legs so I’m kneeling over him to avoid them getting squished.

Bastian leans his forehead against mine. “I’m so fucking sorry, sweet girl.”

“For what?” I ask through the tears trying to choke me as I fight to keep them from falling.

“For my dumbass twin. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” Bastian pulls back to press a lingering kiss to myforehead. I briefly close my eyes as I savor the comfort I find in his arms.

“Nothing has to be wrong with him for him not to want me. I can’t exactly say I’m a catch.” Maybe if I were different, Xander would want me. If I were normal or weren’t fucked up or so awkward, he’d be willing to mate with me.

“First of all, you sure as hell are ‘a catch.’ My brothers and I are so damn lucky to have such an awesome mate. You’re smart, kind, wicked funny, the prettiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, and so much more.” Bastian stares me down, daring me to disagree with him. I just shrug but can’t keep my cheeks from heating at his sweet sentiments. “Second, he does want you. Trust me. That’s definitely not his problem.”

I stare at Bastian skeptically. “Did you hear the same conversation I did? Because I’m pretty sure Xander said he didn’t want to mate with me.”

“No, he said ‘can’t.’ Big difference.” Bastian sighs before continuing. “I know I’ve mentioned it before, but Xander’s… fucked up. He’s always been the one who has his shit together. But, lately, I’m starting to realize he was shoving all his broken pieces down to take care of me, Kai, and even our parents. Around you, I don’t think he can hide it as well. So, you get to see parts of him no one else does. Unfortunately, that includes him being an utter dickhead.”

I snort. He’s not wrong about Xander being a colossal dick at times. But there’s also the sweet, caring Xander who carefully stitches me up, wipes my tears, and cuddles with me on the nightly. The tender moments I have with him are what makes the times he can’t stand me hurt so much.

Absentmindedly rubbing my chest to soothe the ache from Xander, I focus back on what Bastian said. I guess he’s right about Xander’s wording. “Why can’t he mate with me?”

“Fuck if I know. The only one who understands why is Xander. I wish I could just fix things for you with him.”

“That’s not your job, Bastian. Yes, you’re his twin, but my relationship, or lack of, with Xander is between me and him. You can’t control him, nor are you responsible for his actions.”

“I know, but I can’t stand when he hurts you.”

“That’s life sometimes. Some days life is easy. Other days bring you to your knees, and you wonder how you’ll ever get up again.” I shrug as I explain this hard-learned lesson. I’m no stranger to life hurting. Bastian doesn’t have to worry about me handling it.

“Is that how Xander makes you feel? Like you don’t know how to get back up?” Bastian asks, his eyes pinched with concern.

“I can’t—” My voice hitches, and I have to look up at the ceiling to gather myself for a moment. “I can’t talk about this right now, Bastian. Please.” Everything with Xander is still too fresh and raw. I also have two other classes I need to get through today, so I can’t afford to fall apart right now.

“You never, ever have to beg me for anything, pretty girl.” The vehemence in Bastian’s voice catches me off guard. “You don’t wanna talk about it, we won’t talk about it. How ’bout we go annoy Kai for a bit before class? I’m sure between the two of us, we can make you laugh.”

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