Page 70 of Cursed Wolfsbane

When I don’t lift the order, Malachi takes jerky steps toward the portal, fighting my command the whole way. He keeps his eyes on me as long as he can, silently begging me not to make him do this. A lone tear trails down my cheek as I watch him slowly break under the soul-crushing helplessness I’ve forced on him.

Once he steps through the portal, he instantly turns around to try to get back through, but the alpha order won’t let him move toward it. He tips his head back and lets out a roar that’s probably deafening in the Wyldhart mansion but is muffled thanks to the portal here.

Swiping away my tear, I turn to Bastian and give him the same command.

“Pretty girl, there has to be another way!” he shouts desperately. “Even if there isn’t, none of us want to go on without you.” The tendons in his neck stand out starkly with how hard he’s resisting the command, but his struggle is no use. Bastian starts marching toward the portal, his steps halting as he fights to stay here with me.

“You have to,” I croak, more of the damn tears running down my face. “You have to go on and live for me.”

“No! Briar, please!” Bastian tries one last time before he too walks unwillingly through the portal. When he turns to face me, I can see tears dripping down his face too.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper to Bastian, my heart shattering piece by piece at how much I’m hurting them.

Swallowing roughly, I turn to my last wolf mate. While we’ve had our ups and downs, Xander is just as destroyed by what’s happening as his brothers. I give him the order, but my voiceshakes this time. It’s taking all my willpower to do this to them, but I know it’s the only way.

He frantically shakes his head back and forth in denial. “Sweetheart, I’m not worth it. Trade me for you,” he tries, willing to do whatever it takes to save me.

But he should know me better than that. It doesn’t matter how rocky things have been between us. I see the man he is buried underneath his years of self-loathing and self-sabotage. He’s worth so much more than he’ll ever know.

“You are, Xander. You’re an amazing man who deserves the world. I’d do anything for you.” I give him a bittersweet smile, not bothering to try to stop the flow of tears now. Because goodbyes should hurt. When saying farewell hurts, it means the other person changed you and left a little bit of themselves behind. That small part of their soul cries out for the rest of them when they have to leave.

I can say with certainty that my mates have changed me for the better and added so much to my life. I only wish we had more time together.

“No! I can’t lose you too!” he bellows, his voice scratchy and hoarse from his anguish.

A sob rips out of my chest at his shout, my heart breaking at his pain.

Goddammit. Why does it hurt so much to do the right thing?

I press my hand to my chest, trying to make it hurt less, forgetting I have five new holes there. The jolt of physical pain helps me pull myself together as I turn to Saint. Later, I can break down, but right now, I have a job to finish.

“Unlike your wolves, you can’t make me go through.” Saint juts out his chin in defiance, but his gray eyes swim with worry.

I give him a small, sad smile. “Yes, I can.” My magic pours out of me to surround Saint in a thin ice-blue glow that robs him of control over his body. His eyes widen in panic when his limbsstart moving without his say-so. I give him the alpha command, pretending like it works on mages so they won’t suspect that I have magic.

“Little shadow, we’re stronger together. We have a better chance if I stay,” he tries, voice frantic as he inches closer and closer to the portal.

“But you have the best chance if you go, so I have to, Saint.” My voice is thready as I watch the horror, disbelief, and desperation flit across his handsome face. I want to close my eyes because it hurts too much to see what I’m doing to my mates, but I owe it to them to witness it all.

“I just got you back. I can’t survive losing you again! I can’t, Briar,” he pleads, his voice breaking off abruptly. He presses his trembling lips together to stifle his sob.

“You have to,” I plead right back, knowing all of this is for nothing if my mates don’t find a way to live without me.

Once the four of them are through the portal, I look each of them in the eye before mouthingI love you. I close my eyes as my magic shuts the portal and releases Saint from my control at the same time. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to look at them while saying goodbye.

I have zero clue how I was able to open a portal or control Saint magically when I can’t get my magic to do even a simple spell. But I’ll be thankful to my magic for helping me keep my mates safe for the rest of my probably short life.

I’m mid turn to face the leader of the Knights when I feel a hard blow to the back of my head. Everything goes black as I lose consciousness.

EPILOGUE

MALACHI

The last view I get of Briar is her mouthingI love youwith tears running down her pale face. Her red-rimmed eyes are filled with regret and desperation as she sacrifices herself to save us. She doesn’t feel remorse for forfeiting herself. No, my mate regrets upsetting us in the process because she doesn’t have an ounce of self-preservation.

“I love you too,” I whisper as the portal closes.

I should’ve told her sooner. I’ve loved her since the first time Briar gave me attitude, my heart irrevocably belonging to her from that moment forward. But I’ve never loved anyone outside my family before. I was too scared to examine the unfamiliar feeling, and now my brave little mate is going to die without knowing how much she means to me.

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