Page 57 of Until Then

My mom’s voice is sharp enough it keeps me still. “You told me as much with Jasper.”

“Because that idiot had all the characteristics of someone I once knew, and he loved cutting my daughter with his comments. I’m your mom, but you’re twenty-seven-years-old, Hay. I could only voice my concerns and love you through the heartache, all while waiting for that snake to make his move so we could love you through the broken pieces too.”

For a moment, I’m speechless. My mom is a quiet support. She believes people live and learn through hardship and mistakes.

Never has she been so vocal about her disdain for my ex-fiancé, nor her past. She deserves to rant and hate and spew vitriol, but she never has, never did.

The latter, now as a woman, I realize was for my sake.

To constantly despise the other half that made me, would only make me hate that side of myself.

A small smile builds in the corner of my lips. “But you like Noah.”

Mom’s eyes brighten again. “I do, sweetie. He was a total gentleman, and he handled your Nan like a champion. But, he lives a life in the spotlight. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

No. I never wanted to live a life in the bustle of the stars of Hollywood. Then again, my mom doesn’t know this has an expiration date.

Maybe.

I let out a sigh. “Is it weird if I say sometimes I forget he does? Noah is so . . . grounded, I guess. He’s sincere, and funny, and the things he says make me feel like he’s convinced I’m made of gold or something.”

My mom beams. “He’s not hard to look at, either.”

“Mother.”

“What?” She holds up her hands. “Am I wrong?”

“No, but . . . ugh, it’s already weird to know you’ve basically seen him . . . in precarious situations on the screen.”

“Again, I didn’t know I’d be eating pie with the guy when I watched the first season. If it makes you feel better it was only a kissing scene—passionate—but they were in this waterfall cave, and covered with?—”

“Mom!” I cry out. “I’m about to go to the beach with the man, I don’t want to think of his mouth all over some beautiful actress.”

“Well, they killed her off, so . . .”

We both laugh at the absurdity of this entire thing. Maybe the beauty of it.

“We like him, Hayley.” Mom pauses. “But I think Justin is ready to bury a body if another guy hurts you. I’ve no doubt he can do it with the way he knows this property. Maybe give Noah a warning.”

If the ball ever drops with Noah’s pass to release me from this agreement, I’ll be certain to tell Justin the truth before my fake boyfriend goes missing.

Fake. Except he admitted he’s actively trying to convince me to make it real.

“Have fun.” My mom waves and steps through the door, ready to go to her job at a busy law firm. “Oh, and Hayley—don’t make Noah pay for other men’s mistakes. He made a big one by not knowing you, truly.”

She’s not talking about Jasper.

“You’re my mom. You need to say that.”

She shakes her head. “No. I’ve known you all your life, and I promise—it was his loss.”

My door closes and I’m left alone in my front room. I don’t know how long I stand there, nor do I know what draws my steps to the small drawer in my kitchen.

I don’t know why I read the words.

Words that ache.

Words that cut.

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