Page 39 of Game of Revenge

I know I'm having a panic attack, but that doesn't matter. I have made up my mind. It's time.

I need to get away from here. I can’t be around these people anymore. They are moving on, but I’m stuck in the past.

I feel lost and betrayed. I don’t even know if I can trust anyone again beside Tray of course. He's been amazing, and I know what I'm about to do will hurt him.

But he will be okay. Francis will keep him going.

They will get married, have a horde of kids like Carrie and think of me with fondness in time.

Hell, maybe they will name a child after me.

I'm not meant to stay here.

Everything that I thought was truth were just sugar-coated lies. I can't keep living here in a state of limbo, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Grabbing my sneakers, I slip them on and pull on a hoodie from in the closet. It was Brian's and if I close my eyes really hard I can almost smell him again.

Wearing his clothes makes it feel like he's here giving me a tight hug once again.

Closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath. “I'll see you really soon, baby.”

Walking into the kitchen, I pull out the envelopes from a junk drawer and set them on the coffee table in the living room.

I've been thinking about this for a long time. My letters have been written. My Will has been changed, and I've come to terms with my decision.

Taking another look at the home we built that now feels like a jail cell, I open the door, pull my hood up onto my head and start walking.

It's almost cathartic that I am headed to the same place where my best friend once died. Moving in with Francis was supposed to be a good decision.

Get away from the haunting ghosts and memories. Start fresh. Plus Carrie being nearby was a huge bonus.

Walking along the snow-covered road, I keep to the shadows. I don't think Tray will turn around and come home, but you never know.

I need to be gone before he finds my letters. I can’t risk him trying to stop me. The chill in the air has me stopping and admiring the night sky for one last time.

Is this how Carrie felt when she chose the same path?

A peaceful numbness.

Blowing out a breath, I watch as it swirls through the air and up to the Heavens, as if I was sending Brian a kiss.

God, I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts to exist.

But not for much longer.

Picking up my pace, I soon see the bridge. I have no doubts about this, but I do want to say goodbye.

Pulling out my phone, I dial the one man who will talk to me and not try to change my mind.

“Hey, Kier, how are you feeling?”Chuck answers, and I laugh.

If that isn't a loaded fucking question.

“Are you alone? Can we chat for a few minutes? I won't take up too much time.”

I just need him to explain to Carrie and the others why I needed to leave.

“Yeah, let me just put Margo in her bed.”I hear him grunt and a tired little voice say, “Goodnight. I love you, Daddy.”

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