Page 36 of Game of Revenge

“Babe, you didn’t,” I repeat. “He wasn’t well. I can’t imagine the way his thoughts twisted him up inside, until all he could think about was killing Brian.”

Kier shudders, and we all think back to how destroyed Brian was after the beatings. It’s so difficult to imagine he could have been alive after it all.

I don’t know how long he could have lived after this, if there was any hope at all, but figuring out how to move past how he was robbed of the chance feels insurmountable.

We’re all going to need so much damn therapy after this.

“I don’t know what to do,” Kiernan rasps. “I can’t live in the house we’ve been renovating anymore. We should sell it and start somewhere new. We can go anywhere, it hurts to be reminded of Brian and Michael everywhere.”

“Come live with me,” Frankie says intensely.

“There’s something really special about getting emotional support and an ass kicking by her when you’re in a bad spot,” Blakely says with a smirk.

From what I remember Kier telling me once, she stayed with Frankie for a while when she was really depressed. Maybe it’s a little selfish, but I want to see where the flirtation with Francis is going. I won’t push to Kier’s detriment, though.

I can’t lose another person. My heart and soul are tired of burying friends and loved ones.

“If you say so,” Kier says with a tired nod. “It’s hard to make decisions with how much this hurts. Knowing the truth now though helps to know why he was almost happy that Brian was gone all the time, but he was really moody too.”

“I don’t think the attitude was because he felt guilty,” I sigh. “Everything must have felt too close for comfort.”

“The truth always comes out,” Blakely whispers. “The FBI will be chasing their tails for years on this one, but I think it would be smart to get the hell out of here. Newcomers are always the first to be pulled into the station. Even though I own this cabin, none of us are local.”

“It’s almost four in the morning, we can pack up and get on the road now with the condition that you’ll nap,” Bates growls.

Their closeness even when they argue feels so different to the one Kier and I had with the twins. Blakely may not love everything the guys fuss at her about, but it comes from a place of love and not jealousy or control. They almost lost her once, I can see why they’re so protective.

“Yeah, yeah,” she says with a wide yawn. “I can totally go for a nap. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

Standing, we pack up our meager belongings and close up the cabin.

“Do you want help with the rental and all of that?” Frankie asks, looking up at us with her big green eyes. She’s stunning and unapologetically helpful.

Kier gazes at her for a moment before nodding. “That would be really nice,” he says finally. “I’m not going to be great company?—”

“No one is asking you to be,” she says gently. “You can sit in your pain and process. It’s still so fresh and honestly unexpected. I’m stunned as well.”

“Thanks,” he sighs.

Climbing into the vehicle together, I turn on the SUV and get us going. Twenty minutes into the drive he’s sleeping, to my relief. I know once everything hits him fully that he’s going to have a hard time.

I plan to be there every step of the way. He’s never going to lose me.

Frankie links her fingers in mine and squeezes, content to sit with me as I drive. Everything is so entangled and complicated. I have a lot to think about.

Two weeks later

We’ve been in Portland for the past week, and finally settled in. Thank God for Frankie. She helped us go through things to decide what to donate and what to keep. Almost everything was given away that belonged to Michael. It hurts too much to look at it.

Kiernan has the worst of the pain, frequently leaving while we went through the rental house’s items. We lived out of that place for a long time while we worked on renovations, and now it feels as if we lived in a dream state.

Lies, denial, and wishful thinking are what led us to this point.

Frankie also helped us get the Murder House sold to someone who enjoys a project and wants to flip it. I wish them good luck, and hope it turns out better than it did for us.

I feel really jaded now, and despite how busy we’ve been up until we moved in with Frankie, depressed as well. Kiernan reminds me of a robot going through the motions. He won’t let me comfort him, he’s sleeping in another room, and he’s pushing me away.

I’m losing him, and I don’t know how to pull him back.

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