Page 56 of Till Death Saves Me

Ivan's jaw clenches, and for a moment, I think he might change his mind. But then he leans in, pressing a fierce kiss to my forehead.

"I'll come back for you," he promises, his voice raw. "I swear it."

Before I can react, he's stepping back, the heavy door of the safe room swinging shut between us.

I can't breathe. The walls of this tiny room are closing in on me as I hear the lock click into place. My heart pounds so hard I think it might burst out of my chest.

"Ivan!" I scream, my fists pounding against the cold metal door. "Ivan, please! Don't do this!"

Silence answers me. I press my ear to the door, straining to hear any sign of him, but there's nothing. Just the sound of my own ragged breathing echoing in this cramped space.

"You can't leave me here!" I yell, my voice cracking. "What's going on?"

My palms sting as I slam them against the unyielding surface. I don't care. The pain is nothing compared to the terror clawing at my insides.

"Ivan!" I sob, sliding down to my knees. "Please... please come back."

But he's gone. I know he is. The finality of it hits me like a physical blow, and I struggle to draw air into my lungs. What's happening out there? What was so dangerous that he felt he had to lock me away?

I force myself to stand on shaky legs, scanning the room frantically. There has to be a way out. A hidden latch, an emergency release, something. But as my eyes dart from wall to wall, I see nothing but smooth metal and shelves of supplies.

"No, no, no," I mutter, running my hands along every surface. "This can't be happening."

The panic rises in my throat, threatening to choke me. I spin around, my chest heaving as I try to make sense of this nightmare. Ivan's words echo in my head.I love you. I love you so fucking much.

But how could he do this if he loved me?

I throw myself at the door again, ignoring the pain that shoots through my shoulder. "Ivan!" I scream, my voice raw and desperate. "Let me out! Please!"

I slump against the cold metal door, my body shaking with sobs. The silence in this tiny room is deafening, broken only by my ragged breaths. My mind races, conjuring up horrific scenarios of what might be happening outside.

"Ivan," I whisper, pressing my forehead against the unyielding surface. "Please be okay."

As the initial panic subsides, I realize something that shakes me to my core. I'm not afraid for myself. This safe room, with its sturdy walls and well-stocked shelves, is probably the safestplace I could be. No, the fear that's gripping my heart, making it hard to breathe, is all for Ivan.

I close my eyes, picturing his face. The intensity in those blue eyes when he told me he loved me. The desperation in his kiss. God, how could I have been so blind? He wasn't just protecting me; he was saying goodbye.

"No," I choke out, fresh tears spilling down my cheeks. "No, you don't get to do that, Ivan. You don't get to tell me you love me and then leave me like this."

I push myself to my feet, pacing the small space. Every fiber of my being screams to be out there with him, facing whatever danger has him so scared. The thought of losing him, of never seeing that rare smile or feeling his arms around me again, is unbearable.

"I love you too, you stubborn idiot," I say to the empty room, my voice breaking. "I love you, and I can't lose you. Not now. Not when we've finally actually found each other."

The realization hits me like a physical blow. I've known I love Ivan. Completely, irrevocably. The man I once hated has become my whole world, and now he's out there, possibly fighting for his life while I'm trapped in here, useless.

But I might not get to tell him. Just because I was too scared to.

I press my hands against my chest, trying to ease the ache that's settled there. The fear for Ivan's safety is a living thing, clawing at my insides, making it hard to breathe. I've never felt so helpless, so utterly terrified.

"Please," I whisper, unsure who I'm even praying to. "Please keep him safe. Bring him back to me."

God, I need him to be okay.

Because I don't know what I would do without him. The thought alone makes it feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest.

27

IVAN

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