Page 37 of Merciless Queen

Maybe I do need sleep, if I’m worrying about a carpet of all things right now.

In my room, I shut the door with my back, scanning the space. The bed in disarray, the ropes still draped over the corners. My discarded clothes on the floor. All signs of what began as a great night.

But signs of the shift are present too. The cloth I wet for Zeno, cast off on the ground. The bombardment of memories, starting from when he spoke my name.

With an annoyed grunt, I shove off the door, shed my robe, and head for the bathroom. Hopefully the heat from a shower will relax me enough to help me pass out.

Unlikely.

I stand beneath the spray, staring at the drain where the water rushes down. This used to be my safe space. The only room in this mansion where no one, not even Dimitri, could find or even overhear me when the stress of management got too much, too heavy. Had me questioning my every decision and askingwhat would Papa do instead?Those questions helped me to stay focused, though, because I’d invent an action he’dlikely take, and many times, it’s one I wouldn’t for whatever reason. So it validated the decisions I was making.

The more I undertook during my takeover, the less those thoughts occurred, and it’s been a long time since having them. But they creep up now. Self-doubt mingling with self-hatred, and then just hatred in general. For him, for the Cosa Nostra, until the hatred and anger is all I focus on.

I don’t know how long I remain under the spray, but I finally wash and exit, knowing sleep will evade me the longer I don’t attempt it. After hanging the towel, I return to the main part of my suite and head for bed, climbing beneath the covers before I think twice. Before I consider what last happened in this bed and the anger returns.

I pick up my phone and open my text thread with my cousin, using a conversation to distract me from the scent of Zeno clinging to my sheets.

Mental note: get these washed tomorrow.

Me

Hey. Not sure if you’re up yet, but we have a problem. A breach. Cosa Nostra sent a merc.

I skip over the fact that I’m the one who walked him straight inside the mansion.

Dimitri

Shit. He’s captured, I take it?

Me

Got away. Soldiers are scanning the grounds. Lev’s searching his name to see if anything comes back.

Dimitri

Fuck. I’ll be on the next flight out. We have to contain this before anyone hears about it. And then find him.

Me

Lev and Ana are helping. You have other priorities.

Dimitri

You’re one of those priorities. I’m coming home, no matter what you say.

You okay?

Me

Well enough. Pissed more than anything. I want answers. Do you know why the Cosa Nostra would want me dead? Anything you might have heard from my father’s days, or overheard from your own?

Dimitri

I would have warned you two years ago if there was something.

I need to go. Keep me updated on what you find out. See you soon.

Me

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