“Prove me wrong.” I walk backwards two paces, granting her enough space she can slip toward freedom. “Go then.”
She stands her ground, and it’s an action that speaks volumes.
A minute passes before I talk again, this time in a quieter tone. “Because you don’t want to let yourself be vulnerable. Your father showed you no love. Your uncle betrayed you all the fucking time. And I’ve lied to you numerous times, but I’m not apologizing. Not this time. Not when it gave me you. If you’ll just let me in.”
She’s breathing heavier now, as though my words have a physical toll on her. She switches between staring at her feet and off in the distance, but when her eyes clash with mine—sky blue to grassy green—I know I’ve gotten through to her.
“Vanessa—”
“I don’t know how to love!” Her explosion calms the forest around us. The wind dies to a stillness, the faraway chirps of birds fade into a lifeless silence. Even my heart stalls. “You’re right, okay? That what you want to hear? I don’t know how tolet someone in because I haven’t exactly had the greatest role models. I’m sorry, Zeno, but I can’t be the woman for you. Not when you deserve so much more.”
“I deserve you.”
A choking sound comes from her. Tears well in the corner of her eyes but once again, she merely shakes her head and looks away. Her throat moves with her swallow and the fact she hasn’t run off yet tells me a part of her wants—perhaps needs—this conversation.
I reach for her again, and this time, she doesn’t shy away. “What are you scared of,mia regina?”
Her eyes squeeze shut and when they reopen, they’re glistening with lost hope. “Everything. Losing you. Being betrayed.” She lifts her hand, reaching for the bandage on my arm, but drops it when she gets too close, but it’s the action that speaks a million words and explains her fear.
I pull her against me, wrapping my arms around her hips and bending closer, so when I reply, it paints the promise of more on her mouth. So she realizes I’m not going anywhere without her—death or otherwise. “I want you. I don’t know when or how I fell for you, but I saw the woman beneath the façade and was fucking helpless. I couldn’t let you go, no matter how hard I tried. When you walked out of my house, you were all I thought about for days. When I walked away from you at the club, there was no greater pain.
She stares. And stares.
And stares.
A tear slides down her cheek. My thumb strokes over her cheek to catch it.
“I don’t know how to be that woman.”
“Vanessa, you already are.”
This conversation is a sentiment to her newfound vulnerability. How she trusts me, the person who deserves it theleast but cherishes it the most. From here on out, I’ll never let her doubt me again. Never give her a reason to fear the future.
“You need to hold me accountable too. Don’t let me fuck up. Call me out on my shit. You should never have to question my motives.” I pause, searching her face for the final answer I need, but not finding it—not yet. Not until she offers it up. “Answer for an answer.”
A bit of her foundation cracks with the bid of our repeated game. “What do you want to know?”
“Do you love me? I want the truth because if the answer is anything but yes, then I’ll leave and vow you’ll never see me again because I won’t be able to do it. I won’t go through life without you unless I know with absolute certainty you don’t feel anything for me. When you answer, don’t think about not knowing how to love. I just want the truth.”Just want you.“Vanessa Volkov, do you love me?”
Her lips part and I long to kiss them. To neverstopkissing them, but until I get her answer, she’s a fruit still forbidden to me.
For every passing beat of my heart, anxiety creeps up. An anxiety I haven’t felt in a long time, and don’t want to ever again.
“Yes. I love you, Zeno.”
The forest comes alive with her response. The winds pick up. The birds chirp again.
And me—Ifeelagain. Truly, utterly, and completely.
“Is this a way to break my defenses down again?”
At first, her question bruises my ego. That still, she won’t see through my previous lies. But when she tips her head down and peeks at me through her lashes, there’s a vulnerability I’ve never before seen, and I realize her question isn’t malicious. She’s only seeking a bit of honesty.
“You’re unbreakable. Believe me, I’ve tried.” That earns a small smirk from her. “Never again. This is it for us.”
A shudder runs through her and something flicks on. I’d like to say I did the impossible and broke her down, but in actuality, she broke me. By giving herself to me, she’s mine, and I’m hers.
Equals always.