Page 146 of Merciless Queen

Weend much too soon.

With a pining sigh, Zeno gently slides from my body and turns me to face him. Without meeting my eyes, he drops a kiss onto my forehead and breathes in. For a moment, neither of us moves, but much too soon, he releases me.

As he redresses, I don’t move. Can’t watch him leave me for good.Finallyis what I should think, but it’s not what comes to mind. It’s longing that drives me to step toward him as I’m moments away from losing the one person who managed to do it, who managed to break me. He claims it was a stupid nickname, but I think it was a prophecy of what was to come. Maybe I wasn’t broken then but I am now.

Stay.

My mouth doesn’t work. It’s bound by Papa, Boris, Ivan, and every other person who had any power over me. Zeno’s included in that list, even if he doesn’t know it. He’s broken me in ways no one else has.

He has the absolute ability to destroy me, which is why I have to let him go.

Once he’s dressed, he takes a final swig of the alcohol from earlier, then glances my way.

There’s so much to say. So much to bury in silence.

He shoots me a half-smile that doesn’t meet his eyes. “It’s been fun, Volkov.”

My throat is dry. “For sure, Mancini.”

He walks toward the staircase. One step, two, before he looks my way. “If you ever need anything…”

“I won’t.”

He smiles and I believe it’s genuine. “I know you won’t. Never let anyone control you, Vanessa. You’re too strong to bow to another.”

And then he walks away, down the stairs, and the door opens. There’s a long pause until it shuts and I’m alone.

Mentally. Physically. Alone.

Empty.

With only unfulfilled promises, unhealthy longing, and an engagement ring left behind.

Anastasia wasn’t kiddingabout ensuring Vanessa and me work through our issues because the moment I step outside, I spot her standing guard by the door. She pushes off the building to approach, but I wave her away and head for my rental car. If she wants details, she can talk to her boss.

As I speed through the streets of Moscow and toward the airport, I call my lawyer. He doesn’t hide his surprise over my change of heart. The call is a quick stab and I’m more than happy to end it as soon as I finish giving the order to draw up the paperwork.

Vanessa will be happy to receive it sooner than later, I’m sure.

Thoughts of her consume me until I’m driving the car at a dangerous speed, my foot growing heavier on the pedal. For a brief moment, it felt like she was willing to reach for more. There was longing in her gaze, one surpassing a physical need, but it’s also one that if she realized she was feeling, she blocked it until the very end.

Getting dressed and walking away from her is officially the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Harder than holding my father’s deceased body.

Harder than witnessing my mother’s numerous breakdowns.

I haven’t thought the words. Haven’t admitted to myself what I know to be true. At this point, it’s probably best I don’t.

By the time I hand over my rental car, getting out of Russia is my entire focus. Apparently there’s nothing here for me, and I need to return to my life, my job, and forget anything—anyone—else.

As I settle onto the couch at the very back, the same one Vanessa and I begrudgingly shared at one point, my phone chimes with an incoming call from Nero. I debate ignoring him until getting home to avoid any kind of conversation since I’m not in the mood, but a tense nagging in the back of my head urges me to answer.

“Ciao.”

“Did younotget my other calls? Have you left Moscow yet?”

Pulling the phone away from my ear, I check through the recent missed calls, noting some from him today. Clearly, I was too preoccupied to hear them. “No and no. Something wrong?”

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