Page 33 of Bound By My Alpha Mate

“But it wasn’t enough!” Kiara’s voice broke, her fist slamming against my chest before she collapsed against me, crying in mourning for her mother. I took a deep breath, stunned to feel her against me. It couldn’t be that she trusted me and felt comfortable enough in my presence to cry in front of me—I was certain that this was the effect of our mate bond lowering her guard, forcing her to be vulnerable. For her sake, I should have pushed her away and left the room. But selfishly, I wanted to keep her as close to me as possible. As her legs weakened, I lowered myself to the floor with her until she was curled up against my stomach and chest, her back trembling. My wrists remained bound together, pinned beneath her.

For long minutes, she lay there without moving or saying anything. I didn’t know what to do, fearing that the wrong word would dislodge her or wake her from the melancholy that had brought her into my embrace. I suspected she was too embarrassed to do anything, but if she truly didn’t want to be close to me, she wouldn’t be. There was nothing forcing her to stay here, only the influence of our mate bond making my body heat appealing. And if that was enough to give her comfort, she could have it all.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, resolving to sit there for as long as she wanted to cry against my chest. Every now and then, I felt her grip on my shirt tighten, then relax, until it was little more than her fingertips pressing against my skin, up to the collar of the t-shirt that Everett had given me to wear. I had on a clean pair of his shorts, too. The scent of Everett would have smothered me if not for Kiara’s presence.

When her fingers trailed up under my jaw, I opened my eyes and found her blearily gazing up at my face. My mouth felt suddenly dry. There were a dozen things I wanted to say to her, but nothing seemed to express what was stirring in my heart. Odd that Kiara was still a stranger to me, and yet I felt like our hearts yearned for one another; in this quiet moment, it was almost like I felt complete, like she was the piece I’d been missing for years. I had tried in the past to fill that void with someone—Billie, Aislin—but it had never worked. They were never the right shape. Kiara was.

“I don’t want to be your enemy anymore,” I told her.

She didn’t acknowledge me, just continued trailing a finger along my jawline.

“I’m so tired of following in my father’s footsteps. I don’t believe in what he’s fighting for, and I never wanted all this bloodshed. But when my sister died, I thought I had no choice.” I lowered my voice just for her, sharing these thoughts that nobody else had ever cared to hear. “Losing a family member…I know how alone it can make you feel. Like you lose a part of your identity. You grow up with so much of yourself built around this other person in your life that, without them, you don’t really know what you are anymore.”

I didn’t know if she felt that way, too, but that was how it felt for me. Catrina had always been my brutal, harsh, beautiful other half. I was closer to Billie, yes, in that Billie was a better friend than Catrina, but Catrina had really defined who I was. I was her clever little brother. The voice of reason. I was mischievous when it was least expected, and I was responsible when it was needed. Without Catrina to compare myself to, I just became…reactions and thoughts untethered. I didn’t know who I was supposed to be until my father took the place of Catrina in my world. And then I became his heir. I was supposed to be cruel and merciless like him. But I felt even less like myself then.

“I don’t know what to do now that my mother is gone,” Kiara finally admitted.

Maybe she did know how I felt—the sense of aimlessness, the loss.

“I had a dream earlier…I dreamed of the Sky Goddess, Welkin. She’s angry about what happened to my mother. I am, too. And I think she wants me to keep fighting against the dragons, but…it just seems…endless. Even if I do fight them, if I get my revenge against David and Lothair, there will always be dragons. What am I supposed to do? Fight until the day I die?”

I inhaled slowly, mulling her words. It didn’t sting me anymore to think of somebody slaying David. It was the only way to end this war, and it was inevitable. The moment he turned Lycan, he would stop being my father. He didn’t feel like much of a father as it was.

“The Sky Goddess can’t ask you to fight forever. You have a life to live, and you deserve to live it freely, however you want. I think after David and Lothair are taken care of, and the Inkscales are chased away, you should build the life you want. Pursue the things you love.”

Kiara chewed on this before speaking up again. “What’s something that you love?”

It had been a long time since I’d thought about the things I was passionate about. It felt like I wasn’t even allowed to have passions or desires. “I like reading. Video games.” But those seemed minuscule in the grand scheme of things. “I like keeping busy, feeling useful, and hunting for my pack. Feeding them. Taking care of people.”

Kiara had the nerve to snort at me. “Really? Don’t you have any other hobbies?”

“Sure. I think architecture is pretty cool. It takes a lot of math, though.”

“You’re not good at math?”

“I’m great at math. I’m an insurance broker.”

“So, what stopped you from getting into architecture?”

“My father didn’t want me to take off for however many years of school it would have been,” I explained. “He thought I was needed here. Even though Catrina had always been his heir, I think he just didn’t want our numbers to suffer.”

“Your father’s a terribly selfish man.”

“Mm.” I had always known that, but I supposed I hadn’t wanted to think about how it affected me or how wrong it was to let him manipulate me.

“I’m not so sure you’re as selfish as him,” Kiara added.

Her fingers turned my chin, drawing my attention back down to her. Now she gazed back up at me, hooded eyes at long last meeting mine. With her thumb, she gently grazed my bottom lip, and I watched her wet hers like she was imagining what it might feel like to kiss me. My heart stuttered.

“I want to prove to you that I’m better than him,” I said. “I’m sorry I was so stupid before. But I want things to be different.”

“If you weren’t my fated mate, I wouldn’t even consider giving you a chance,” murmured Kiara. “But the Moon Goddess paired us for a reason. If not you, I think I can trust her, at least.”

“I’ll show you that you can trust me.”

Swallowing, Kiara nestled her face against my neck and breathed in. “Sit with me tonight, then. Just keep me company. Talk to me.”

“This is the only place I want to be.” With her, feeling her small exhalations against my skin, her fingers exploring my muscles and the stubble on my jaw. It’s all I’d wanted ever since I first saw her, since before the Moon Goddess revealed her as my fated mate. The moment she entered my life, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that this beautiful hybrid creature deserved all the love I had to give. I leaned my head against hers, savoring the smell of her silvery hair and hoping she felt the drumming of my heart, knowing that every beat was inspired by her.

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