Page 5 of Tainted

Finally, I stopped by the old oak tree at the edge of his family’s property.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, brushing his thumb against my cheek.

“Do you ever think about doing something else?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Calvin frowned, turning to look at me. “What do you mean?”

“Something more than this.” I waved my hand toward the barns and farmhouse, where his parents were likely already asleep. “Don’t you ever wonder if there’s more to life than taking over your parents’ farm?”

He let out a soft chuckle, but there was confusion in his eyes. “What is more, Kendall? This is what I’ve always wanted. To run the farm, and raise a family here.”

For Calvin, this was the dream but for me, it felt like a life on repeat, day after day, year after year, with no end in sight.

“With you, of course. I can see our kids running around out here,” he envisioned, forming a smile at the thought until he noticed my silence, “At least three. Two boys and one little princess. That’s the good life.”

The rest of the evening, I felt the weight of our conversation in my bones. So much that I faked getting my period to go home because I was no longer in a social mood. Thankfully, Mom was already in bed when I slithered through the front door because she would’ve picked up on it and interrogated me until I gave in.

My hot shower passed in a blur, and as soon as I laid down, the night folded into the morning. When I opened my eyes, I became overwhelmed by a piece of choreography that had replayed in my dreams. Yanking the comforter back, I hopped out of bed before I lost it completely.

With my favorite song filling the room, I twirled and swayed in a dance of my own creation. As the climax neared, I froze, imagining I was anywhere but Autumn Grove. Lost in the moment, I barely noticed the door creak as my mom entered. Her smile mirrored my own as she watched me dance.

“I almost forgot how graceful and nimble you are.” Without missing a beat, I twirled around her as she sat the laundry basket down. “Don’t you have to work today?”

“I’m not going,” I sighed.

Staring out the window, I could see the heart of the town because Autumn Grove wasn’t big at all. I hate everything about it, from limited opportunities to no privacy. Living in a small town, you knew everyone's business, and they knew yours, too. It felt like all Autumn Grove did waslack.

That made it the perfect place to hide because the most exciting thing Autumn Grove had to offer only came once a year. During summer, visitors traveled to wander the fragrant lavender fields, take photos, and purchase local lavender-infused products. Most were chasing peace and tranquility, something I hadn’t felt in a long time and certainly not here.

“What’s wrong? Cramps?”

“No.”

My curt tone made her ease onto the edge of the bed, gently stroking my shoulder.

“Are you and Calvin having problems?”

“Calvin is fine.”

“What’s going on, Kendall? You’re being weird this morning,” Mom giggled, trying to calm her nerves. Any deviation from the norm freaked her out, but hearing her call meKendallwas exactly what was wrong with me.

“Aren’t you tired?” I asked, looking up to see her face. “Don’t you miss Banana Girl? Aren’t you worried about how she’s doing after the stroke?”

Mom’s neck swiveled, oozing attitude because I was dangerously close to that invisible line that made her remind me she wasn’t one of my little friends. But attitude and all, Mom was gorgeous.

Beauty gets you in the door but won’t keep you there. Never let anyone make you feel bad for being beautiful, either. It’s okay to be beautiful; just make sure that’s not all you are.

She had been drilling that speech into my head since she realized I was branded with her regal beauty. I thought it was something nice parents are supposed to tell their children because I didn’t see it when I looked in the mirror.

“It’s a small price to pay for her safety,” she mumbled.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Mom.”

“You have an odd way of showing it. You don’t know what I would give to lay my head in my mother’s lap and be the scared little girl that I keep tucked away. Of course, I get tired and frustrated thinking about what lifecould’vebeen, but I’d ratherbe tired than dead, so I keep pushing, but you have that, so don’t take it for granted.”

“What if I can’t?” Mom swallowed hard because she wasn’t expecting that response, but I couldn’t hold it any longer.

“You can’t beZara,” she whispered, grabbing my jaw, “She doesn’t exist anymore.”

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