Page 149 of Tainted

“You let them run you out of your own room?”

“Yeah, well, they look like they need it,” she paused like she was trying to recall what she was looking for. “It’s no place like Nana’s bed, I suppose.”

After a few minutes, she joined me in the living room, holding a cup of tea and easing into the chair. She didn’t say anything at first, just sat there sipping her tea and watching me.

“You’ve been real quiet.”

I shrugged, keeping it vague. “It’s been a busy few days.”

“Mmm.” She sipped her tea, her eyes sharp even behind her glasses. “And I’m guessing most of that busyness has to do with Zara.”

“A ‘lil bit.”

She chuckled, the sound low and knowing like she’d seen it all before. And she probably had. “Is the baby she hasn’t told me about the rest of it?”

The room suddenly felt smaller, and my mind scrambled for what to say. She waved a hand dismissively, like the whole thing wasn’t a big deal.

“I knew the minute I saw her. You think I don’t know what it looks like when a woman’s pregnant?”

I sat there, stunned, even though I should’ve expected it. She didn’t miss a thing. “I guess everybody knew but us.”

“That’s what love does to you,” she smiled, setting her glass down. “It makes your heart see what the eyes ignore. It’s not always a bad thing, though. The mind isn’t perfect, and neither is love.”

She sipped her tea again while I mulled over her words.

“Y’all don’t look happy about it for two people as deep in love as you.”

“Zara’s stressed.”

“Probably missing her mom right now. Something about finding out you’re going to be somebody’s world turns you back into a little girl. I remember when I found out I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe I was going to be somebody’s mother. Me!” she chuckled, hitting her chest. “It scared the shit out of me thinking about somebody needing me for everything. Hell, I was barely taking care of myself.”

“You managed.”

“I did and y’all will too.”

I didn’t doubt it, but from Zara’s outburst this morning, I wasn’t sure she felt the same. Her gaze softened, but her words were firm.

“Special relationships don’t just happen. You work for them. Create them by doing all the shit we hate doing. Difficult conversations. Compromising. Giving grace and that’s not always fun. Hell, most of the time, it sucks, but that’s where real love is made.” She pushed up slowly from the couch, offering a final piece of advice, “For now, just remember, even when you don’t know what to say or how to fix it, just be there.”

“Wisdom and beauty. Iono, Zara might’ve had some competition back in the day.”

She blushed, fanning me off the way she always did.

“Sounds good, but even I can’t compete with the smile my Zara puts on your face.” She wiggled her fingers, summoning me, “Now, come help this old woman upstairs so you can get yourbabiesout of my bed.”

Banana Girl shuffled up the last few steps, gripping my hand with a determination that made me smile. I let her have her way when we reached the second floor, keeping a close eye on her until we reached her bedroom. Zara was curled up in the BananaGirl’s bed, her arm draped over her stomach as if protecting our baby, even in her sleep.

Careful not to wake her, I lifted Zara into my arms. I carried her down the hallway to her room, my footsteps barely making a sound in the quiet house. Zara finally moved everything out of her apartment weeks ago, bringing it all back here to Nana’s house. Even though she spent most nights with me, she seemed more comfortable having a room here, like she needed to feel rooted somewhere.

I slipped into bed next to her, pulling her close as my eyes instinctively found her stomach. For the first time, I could see the small pudge she had attributed to bloating and other hormonal changes.

My mind drifted to the one I lost, and sleep came slowly because of it. My thoughts circled back to the life we were building, the future that felt so close yet out of reach. Eventually, exhaustion took over, and I let myself sink into the darkness beside her.

When I woke, morning light spilled into the room, and Zara shifted beside me. She blinked, looking confused as her eyes scanned the room. “How did I get in here?” she mumbled, half-asleep, her voice thick with confusion.

“Banana Girl kicked you out.”

Zara nodded, reaching to the ceiling for a stretch.

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