Page 123 of Tainted

“Secrets! That’s the fuckin’ subject, right?” He asked, approaching me. "Secrets are why you tense up whenever someone asks you where you’re from. And let’s not forget how you cringe when I call you Zara Nicole. You think I haven’t noticed all that? You really think I don’t pay attention to you?”

I swallowed hard, struggling to keep my expression neutral, but inside, I was spiraling.

“But I’m patient with you because I understand we all have shit. Me, you, and everybody else walking this fuckin’ earth.”

“My shitdidn’t have you sitting in a police station today!”

“Maybe not, but it makes me wonder how much I can trust you.” Kenyon walked out, but I was enraged at how Kenyon managed to flip things on me.

I didn’t want to leave like this, but I couldn’t stay either. I didn’t know this cold version of Kenyon—one who didn’t seem to care about me or how I felt. So, I moved around the room, throwing my belongings in my bag. When I reached the bottom step, I looked up at Kenyon seated on the couch.

"I think I should go home tonight," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I waited for a response, for Kenyon to say something, anything. But he didn’t. He remained silent with his shoulders squared.

I hesitated for a moment, my hand lingering on the doorknob. I wanted to break through the wall that had suddenly sprung up between us, but I couldn’t find the words. So I pushed down the hurt and walked out.

Nothing real could ever be built on a lie, and there was already enough between us.

22

Kenyon

This was uncharted territory because I didn’t stick around long enough to have problems I wanted to fix. All I knew how to do was prove my point and get my way, but Babygirl wasn’t giving me that. I used to crack on Pops for being so soft with Mom. Like, he couldn’t breathe without her telling him to, and now I fully understood. He couldn’t. I guess that’s why it was hard for Kross to breathe most days, too, now that Maliah was gone.

Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, my last text to Sydney went unanswered like all the others. We still hadn’t spoken, but one way or another, we were going to. In Sydney’s mind, Zara had come between us, so it was easy to blame her, but it was deeper than that, especially after that interview.

I climbed out of bed and dressed to meet Kross. He claimed he had something important to discuss. It likely wasn’t as urgent as he sounded via text, but I walked into my closet, chuckling at the basket of overflowing laundry that piled up quicker thanks to sharing my shit with Zara.

The house felt too damn quiet without her. It was almost stifling, so I dressed quickly and drove to Utopia. I parked my car and braced myself but sighed in relief when I didn’t see her.

“Wassup Kross,” I greeted him while he stared briefly with narrow eyes.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

“Do you need to talk about it?”

I did, but Eric Keyes was more qualified on the subject. I forgot he wasn’t here, so I dialed his number last night because that’s how grief works. It doesn’t always show up in big moments like birthdays or death anniversaries. It hits at random moments, like when you need female advice from your father.

“Not to you.”

His dark brows slanted into a frown, “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I’m not in the mood to hear your mouth.”

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about how Nova’s got you down bad, that’s on you.”

“I am down a ‘lil bad,” I joked because laughing about it was the only thing keeping me sane. “Can I ask you something without you trippin’ for the next seventy-two hours?”

Kross hesitated because I never filtered myself or what I had to say. I just said it, and people had to deal with it, but this was different. If I was asking first, it could only be about one thing.

“Shoot.”

“Did Maliah know everything?”

He sighed, a deep, soulful sound, and leaned back. “No, she didn’t. She had this light in her that I didn’t want to risk dimming with the truth.”

Kross paused, collecting his thoughts. “Sometimes I think she knew something, though. She looked at me like she saw meand wanted me to know it was okay. She never pushed, just waited on me to be ready.”

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