Page 173 of Holiday Hire

The entire time I'm staring at him, all I want him to do is tell me not to go, that he wants me forever.

He never does. He just sits there, saying nothing and staring at me.

I can't take it anymore. I wipe the tears off my face and silently exit the kitchen. I grab my coat and put it on, stepping out of the house and rushing through the cold to the main house.

When I get inside, I step into the bathroom, splash some water on my face, and make sure I look okay.

Ten minutes pass before I think it's safe to go do my job. I force a smile and find the kids in the family room. Tables fill the space, and they're all making Christmas crafts. Alexander's sisters, Georgia, and his mom are in the room too.

Willow and Paisley look at me, and I want to crumble inside. They keep glancing over with questions in their eyes, but I try to avoid them.

I work on making a wreath with Isabella. We finish, and Willow pulls me aside. She drags me out into the hallway, and lowers her voice, asking, "Babe, what's going on?"

"Nothing," I lie.

"You don't have to hide anymore, Phoebe. Just tell me what's happening," she pushes.

I lift my chin and straighten my shoulders, my voice shaking when I say, "Nothing is wrong. Alexander and I are finished. I'm going to finish my term here and then I'll move on to my next employer. Please keep everything we discussed between us."

Her eyes widen, and her head jerks back. "Don't be silly. You two are just fighting. Every couple fights."

"We aren't a couple."

"You are!"

I shake my head. "No, we're not. It's over," I repeat, my insides shaking harder and trying to convince myself everything will be okay.

"Phoebe—"

"I don't want to talk about this, Willow. Promise me you'll keep things between us. And please make Paisley stay quiet too," I sternly say.

She studies me.

"Please," I beg.

She nods. "Sure. You have my word."

"Thanks." I brush past her and return to the bathroom. I lock the door and lean against it.

Tears slide down my face and I cover my mouth, trying to stay quiet. I don't know how long I'm in here. All I want to do is run back to the house and beg Alexander to make things right between us—whatever that looks like—but I know it won't happen.

He's made it clear.

I'm just a deal to him.

I'm his reckless adventure.

I'm his current friend with benefits, and I should have known better.

And I saw it in his face when I accidentally admitted I love him. He doesn't love me, and he's never going to. I was fooling myself, thinking I was any more than Cheyenne was to him. I was just more convenient.

I keep my eyes closed, and the thought of him running back to her makes me feel sick.

Then I think about leaving the boys and all the Cartwrights. It tears me apart, and I don't know how long I keep crying.

I finally force myself to clean up, but my swollen eyes can't be hidden.

I exit the bathroom and run into Ruby. "Oh! I'm sorry!"

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