Page 108 of Holiday Hire

Phoebe laughs, and my heart aches. I hate not being able to sit next to her, hold her hand, and be as affectionate as I want.

She beams. "Sorry. I'll tell you as soon as I know for sure."

Willow groans. "That sucks, but okay."

"What did you do after the track?" Paisley asks.

"Yeah, Alexander, what did you do?" Jagger chimes in, arching his eyebrows.

I'm going to kill him.

I glance at Phoebe, but she picks at the food on her plate. I answer, "Went for some drinks at Boots."

Willow chirps, "I love that place! You should have called and told me to meet you there!"

I grunt. "Figured you were out with some bull rider."

She smirks. "I was, but I would have made him bring me over to the bar."

"Willow, pass the sausage," Jagger orders.

She picks up the platter and says, "Mom and Dad are home in two days. We've got a lot to do to get ready for Thursday."

The conversation changes about the upcoming Thanksgiving week. I spend the entire breakfast trying to get Phoebe to converse with me, but she barely does.

I curse myself. It's my own fault. I set the stage for this, and now I'll have to fix it. Yet I'm still determining exactly what it is I want to fix. The way I see it, whatever route I go, I'm screwed.

18

Phoebe

Regret continues to expand within me with every word Alexander utters.

How could I have been so stupid?

He keeps asking me questions, but I can barely look at him. I wish I could tell him to shut up, but that would make things worse. Plus, it wouldn't be right to say that in front of his sons or the rest of the family.

The entire breakfast, I replay everything we did. Alexander keeps trying to pull me into conversation, but I quickly answer things and then redirect questions to the others.

It feels like this meal will never end. I can barely eat, only playing with my food most of the time. Somehow, I make it through, ignoring Alexander as much as possible, and continuing to feel sick.

He just wanted to get laid.

While I didn't have any expectations, nor did I think I'd end up in bed with him, it's clear I'm just another notch on his belt. And did he think I would run and tell the boys I slept with him? I realize it's a touchy subject, but seriously!

His voice haunts me. All I hear is,"You're from California, and I'm from here. I know you have your life, and we have ours."

My gut twists every time it repeats in my head. And it's clear I'm nothing to him. Alexander doesn't see me as anything but someone to play with his stallion.

Disdain fills me. I slept with my boss. I wish I could go back in time. I wouldn't have gone to the races or bar with him. And there's no way I would've slept with him in his bed.

When everyone is finished eating, I take my plate into the kitchen. I need some fresh air, and I'm ready to leave the house.

Alexander follows me, stepping so close, my skin buzzes. And I hate myself even more. I shouldn't feel anything toward him now, but I can't easily turn my attraction off.

"Pheebs—"

"Don't," I warn, my voice shaking.

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