Page 126 of Thorns of Malice
I shouldn't be thinking about Dax caring about me. It's dangerous.
I should. He's trying.
No, it'll never be right between us,I tell myself.
I'm lost in my thoughts again when my phone beeps. I go to the counter, pick it up, and my gut dives.
Jaxon: I need to see you.
My nerves pick up. I think about what to reply.
Me: I don't think that's a good idea.
Jaxon: I won't try to have sex with you, I promise. But we need to talk.
Me: Did you have sex last night?
A few minutes pass.
Jaxon: No.
Me: Then you're still jonesing for it.
Jaxon: We need to talk. I'll leave today, but not until we talk.
Me: Why don't you go to a club? Or find someone online? I know it's what you need, so why don't you do it? I'm not going to change my mind.
He calls.
I sigh and reluctantly answer. "Hey."
His voice sounds desperate. "Ivy, I have to see you. I'm at the Harbor Inn. Please come. I'm in room 428."
"Jaxon, I can't."
"You can. Just come over. It'll be like it always has been between us. I'm sorry I said that about loving you. I won't do it again, I promise," he declares.
I'm relieved at hearing that. "Well, that's good because that was some crazy talk yesterday."
"Yes, it was, and I'm sorry. But, Ivy, I need you. You know what I'm going through."
I feel a pang of guilt, but I can't be Jaxon's go-to anymore. So I reply, "I know all too well what it's like, Jaxon. But you need someone else, not me. We can't do this anymore."
"Because of him?" he accuses.
I stay quiet, my heart beating faster.
"It is because of him, isn't it?" Jaxon pushes.
"Yes. I still have feelings for Dax."
Jaxon warns, "He's going to destroy you again."
"Maybe so, but I can't help it. I still love him," I confess.
"No, Ivy. You don't love him. You love what you think you had with him—what you've always wanted. He's just playing you again," he insists.
"He's not!" I interject, the words coming out of my mouth before I realize it.
