Page 29 of Thorns of Malice

Bile rises in my throat. My stomach flips faster. I didn't expect her to not have anyone in her life. She's too amazing not to, but, Jesus—two sex addicts going at it? Plus, this guy's at least ten years older than me.

Does he give her what she needs? What I used to give her?

Does she even think about me anymore?

She's chasing the high.

Is she in love with him?

I need to get her on the medication.

But which one?

The thought of Ivy experiencing the side effects that could destroy any enjoyment she could ever have again regarding a sexual relationship makes me feel ill. I've already done so much to her. She doesn't deserve more disappointment.

I pick up the phone and call the head scientist working at Hybrid Pharmaceuticals.

Craig answers, "Mr. Carrington?"

I ask, "Where are we at on NeuroZap? Did you figure out how to eliminate the side effects?"

His voice drops. "I don't have any good news. There haven't been any breakthroughs. We can't seem to eliminate the possibilities of the risks."

"You need to figure it out," I order.

"Mr. Carrington, it's not that easy. We've discussed this. All drugs have possible side effects."

"Not good enough," I declare.

"Mr. Carrington?—"

"I'm paying you to eliminate it. Figure it out," I interject, then hang up the phone, pissed off.

I've come so far with these drugs, but it's not good enough. I want to be able to completely eliminate the addictions of people who have been harmed by Trance—who have been harmed by Bobby and his family. So Craig's statement isn't going to fly with me.

I beat myself up a little bit more and then my phone rings.

I answer, "Michelle," wishing again that my other assistant was back from maternity leave.

She chirps, "I wanted to remind you that it's time to get ready for tonight's Clifton charity event."

I glance at my watch, groaning inside. The last thing I want to do is go to Clifton University or their charity event, nor do Iwant to give that fucking place any money. My life was destroyed because of that school and all the people associated with it. I hate everything about the university, including its fraternities and sororities.

It's a necessary evil to take Avery and Bobby down.

I have to play the game.

"Thanks," I say and disconnect the call. I go to my room, shower, and put on my tux. I secure my gold cuff links and then leave the estate. I race through the gates and over to Clifton.

It's a route I've taken too many times. I glance to the passenger seat, wishing Ivy was next to me.

If only I hadn't fucked everything up.

I should have realized I had the best thing ever in front of me. Instead, I was dumb and had to worry about getting one over on Avery and Bobby. Ultimately, I lost the only thing that ever mattered to me.

By the time I pull into my reserved parking spot, I'm once again traveling down memory lane. I take a few deep breaths, not wanting to go in but forcing myself to get out of the car.

I step inside, bypassing everyone, barely greeting those who offer me hellos. I go right up to the bar.

---