Page 85 of Seeds of Malice

My pulse pounds harder. Since we left the store, my excitement has turned to worry and embarrassment.

Why did Dax want to do that with me there?

Too much confusion fills me.

Dax is incredible. On the other hand, I don't fully understand him or the things he's into.

I'm out of my league.

Fake it until you make it.

I can't lose Dax because of my inexperience.

Don't make a big deal about anything.

I glance out the window at the greenery, perplexed about what happened.

I can't help it. I reach over and turn the music down. I ask, "Why did you do that?"

Surprised, he glances at me. His expression looks as confused as I feel. "Do what?"

I answer, "What we did inside the dressing room. Why did you want everyone to hear?"

"You didn't like it?"

"I didn't say that."

His face falls. "Ah, I see. You regret me. I thought you were into me, Ivy."

"I am into you," I insist.

"Obviously, you aren't. I'm sorry. I thought you enjoyed being with me. I guess you don't want me, and I've been under the wrong impression," he states.

Panic hits me. "Dax, I never said I didn't want you."

"Could have fooled me," he mutters, pulling onto the expressway.

Several minutes pass. My insides quiver. All I want is Dax.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Why did I have to be a prude in West Virginia? I could have had some experience so I'm not so naive.

"I-I don't know about these things. I-I told you I've never done anything like that," I fret.

He sighs and pulls over. Cars race past us. He turns toward me and puts his hand on my cheek, declaring, "Ivy, I am a man. A man who's obsessed with you. You're the only person in this world I want. All I've craved all week is for you and me to be together. I thought that's what you wanted."

His words make me happy. Yet I still don't understand why he thinks I don't want to be with him. I assure him, "It is what I want."

He studies me and asks, "Are you sure about that? You didn't sound very sure a minute ago."

I bite on my lip, pondering his question. Of course I want him. But do I want everyone around us to know what we're doing?

And I've never felt so much pleasure before, but... I didn't imagine my first time would be anything like what we just did.

Dax adds, "This is who I am, Ivy. I don't like things vanilla. I'm sorry. I should have known a girl like you couldn't handle me. You're too wholesome. I'll take you back home and leave you alone." He releases me and pulls back into traffic.

My fear is coming true. I blink hard but can't stop the tears.

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