Page 14 of Cora

“In… and out… In… and out.”

I matched the rise and fall of my chest with hers, closing my eyes so that all my focus was on Mama’s breathing. Notmuch time had passed when large, warm hands clasped mine. I opened my eyes to see Pop kneeling in front of me, his soft brown eyes full of concern.

“You ok, son?”

“He’s ok,” Mama answered as I nodded silently. “He just had a little bit of a panic attack, but he worked through it like a champ.”

That was the first time I had heard the phrase ‘panic attack,’ but it wouldn’t be the last.

“That tornado was a little scary, huh, Bud?”

I nodded again.

“You want to know a secret? I was scared, too.” My eyes widened in shock at his words. I didn’t know anything could scare Pop. “It’s ok to be scared. We were in a dangerous situation, but it’s over now, and everyone is safe.”

“That’s right,” Mama said. “Are you ready to go upstairs?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you ever seen a naked tree?” Pop asked excitedly.

“Steve,” Mama admonished with a light chuckle.

“No,” I said, excitement bubbling.

“Do you want to?” he asked.

“Yeah!” I said, scrambling off of Mama’s lap.

“I’ll race you!” Pop said, pushing me back into Mama’s lap to get a head start.

“Hey!” I complained, “That’s cheating!” I raced toward the stairs, shooting past Pop at the last second with a triumphant cheer.

“You’re just too fast for me,” Pop said breathlessly as he caught up to me at the top of the stairs.

I followed him outside, grinning proudly, but the second I saw the yard, my jaw dropped. I knew the trampoline was gone, but I wasn’t prepared for all the garbage in the yard. Trees had been stripped of their leaves and branches, and wehad pieces of roofing that weren’t from our roof strewn about, along with many other things.

“The naked tree is over here,” Pop said, grabbing my hand and tugging me around to the side of the house.

“Whoa!” I said when I saw it. The tree had no leaves left, but that wasn’t the most shocking part. What stunned me was that the trunk had no bark, like someone had taken a vegetable peeler to it like a carrot. “Wild!”

“Trent, look!” Melly yelled, running up to us and waving Cotton Candy around. “Isaac found Cotton Candy smushed between the Jackson’s shed and our trampoline!”

“That’s great, Melly! I’m glad you found him!”

An anguished cry broke the relative sadness, and we looked down the road to where the sound had come from. My neighbors had just come up from their cellar, and the wife was on the ground crying as she looked at where their house had once stood.

That could have been us.

I shook the memories away, aware of the other three men watching me closely. After that tornado tore through our town, I never enjoyed another storm. Isaac and Melly weren’t affected, just me. A storm would start brewing, and I would be on the cusp of a full-blown panic attack until it passed— if I didn’t tip over the edge first. I hated my reaction to storms, but in all the years since, I haven’t been able to shake my response, though I have been able to mask the anxiety better. Or so I thought.

“Stop fucking staring at me. I’m fine,” I growled as I stomped, maybe a little faster than usual, after the next clap of thunder, back to the house.

“We know you aren’t, Trent. You don’t have to pretend,” Remi said, jogging to catch up and put a comforting arm around my shoulder.

I shrugged him off of me but then immediately reached for his arm. Mama had figured out early on that I handled the storms better with human contact. I hated how weak that made me feel, especially when my options were my big brother and two other men. It was embarrassing to need cuddles from them, though Remi hadn’t minded volunteering.

Over the last eight months, we have grown physically closer. I wasn’t sure if it was a situation of convenience or deeper than that, but either way, we came together in more ways than one during a storm. The first time anything happened between us, I freaked out and asked him if that meant I was gay. Remi’s response shook my beliefs to the core.

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