Page 22 of Cowboy's Sinful Bargain

My heart grew heavy with despair and I almost sank to the floor. Only my firm resolve kept me on my feet. I wouldn't allow anyone to see me fall. I hadn't when I was back in Japan and I wouldn't now.

"Please, excuse." In other words, get the hell out. If this was my room, I wanted everyone gone. I needed to lick my wounds in private just as I always had.

Jos frowned, but turned toward the door. He paused in the doorway and glanced back at me, looking like he had something to say, but then his jaw clenched and he walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

I clenched my hand into a fist and shoved it into my mouth as I slowly sank to the floor. My sobs were as silent as the tears that trickled down my face, which was not unusual for me. I'd been taught at a very early age to keep my sorrow to myself.

No one cared anyway.

I allowed myself just a few minutes to give into my grief and then made myself stand up and go to my suitcases. I unzipped them both and then began putting my stuff away in the empty dresser Jos had indicated.

I kept out my pajamas and carried them into the bathroom. After a quick shower, I dressed in my pajamas, neatly folded my dirty clothes and set them on the bench at the bottom of the bed, and then laid out what I was going to wear the next day.

Another one of my grandfather's lessons was to always be prepared to greet the day. It was one I had never forgotten. It was usually painful if I did.

I climbed onto the bed and snuggled down under the blankets. I wasn't used to such a large bed or one so soft. My bed back home had been a single bed in a small room off mygrandfather's room. I had been born in that room and lived in it until I came here.

Here was weird.

After twisting and turning for quite awhile, I climbed out of bed, dragging the comforter and a pillow with me, and curled up on the floor next to the window. It was out of the way so I hoped that meant I wouldn't be stepped on if anyone came into the room.

I wrapped the comforter around me as tightly as I could and laid my head on the pillow. I was asleep minutes later.

Chapter Seven

~ Jos ~

Morning came way too early, especially since I hadn't fallen asleep for several hours after I went to bed last night. I couldn't seem to get the saddened look in Miko's eyes when I told him we wouldn't be sharing a room out of my mind.

I hadn't expected that. I had been sure that Miko would be ecstatic that I wasn't forcing him into a relationship he might not want. We needed to get to know each other before he could decide where our marriage would go.

I wanted the choice to be his.

I cracked my eyes open and stared out the window. The sun was just coming up. I could see glimmers of light over the mountains in the distance and the night sky was lightening up.

I laid there for a few minutes, just listening to the silence. It was mid-summer at this point and I knew winter would be here soon. Probably sooner than any of us were ready for. There was still a lot to do to get the ranch ready for the colder weather.

Knowing my list of things to do were growing by the second, I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and then dressed for the day.

After leaving the guestroom, I stepped over to the room next door and softly knocked. When I didn't receive an answer, I opened the door and looked inside.

The room was empty.

Maybe Miko had already gone downstairs. He did say he was used to waking up early. It wasn't even six o'clock yet, so that was early.

I could hear the low murmur of voices as I went down the stairs and figured some of the ranch hands had already come in. I paused at the bottom of the stairs when I saw pretty muchevery ranch hand on the ranch standing in front of the large windows overlooking the front yard.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Trying to figure out what this guy is doing," one of the ranch hands replied without looking away from the window.

Huh?

I walked across the room and pushed my way through the small crowd of ranch hands and then stood there, my head half tilted. "What is he doing?"

Miko stood in the middle of the yard slowly moving his arms and legs around in some moves that looked almost choreographed.

It was astonishingly beautiful.

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