As I walk over, setting my briefcase down and smiling idly at the state of my living room, which is more stuffed animals than furniture right now, I can just make out movement coming from the backyard.
Watching from the back door, I see Bridget playing with Mia in the pool, spinning her around in circles as she shrieks happily. Mia is wearing her unicorn floaty vest and a floppy hat tied under her chin.
Oh my God. They’re adorable.
My chest pinches slightly as I chuckle at the sight. I know that Mia’s mother should be here with her.
A familiar sorrow washes over me despite how glad I am that Mia had someone like Bridget in her life.
That’s the thing about grief. It’s never really gone, and it hits you when you don’t expect it.
I’m not as angry anymore, but there are still moments when I can’t help it. I think to myself, “How dare Jess leave her daughter. How dare the doctors not save her.”
But that’s like sitting in a rocking chair. At least, that’s what my mother would have said.
Gives you something to do but doesn’t get you very far.
I know I need to move on from the past, and the truth is that this is the first time I’ve felt motivated to do so.
After Bridget left last night, I couldn’t sleep, my brain churning over everything that’s happened. When I saw her this morning, I could barely think of what to say.
Bridget wasn’t any better.
We danced around each other the entire morning until I needed to go, and now that I’m home, I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
Ugh, there’s just so many layers of complication mixed in with all the good.
Leaning against the doorframe, I continue to just watch, tracking Bridget’s movements as she plays with Mia.
I want her. I’ve always wanted her. But she’s my best friend’s sister. I’m a widower with a small child to look after.
Oh, and she’s the nanny.
With a sigh, I rake my hand through my hair. I can’t help but question if this is the right thing to be doing.
Should I really be pursuing a woman who clearly just got out of a bad relationship? Who also happens to be Hudson’s sister?
I’d never forgive myself if I ruined her relationship with her brother, and I don’t want to fuck up my friendship with Hudson, either.
Or with her, for that matter.
My stomach churns like it has all damn day, and not for the first time, I wish that I could just be told what to do.
I know I said there’s no rush. And there’s not.
But being in this limbo is killing me. I’m not good at waiting around without clear answers. I never have been.
You’re not doing yourself any good by just standing here, either. Go on, Mason.
Shaking myself, I approach the pool, and when Bridget sees me, she smiles with surprise.
“Well, hello. I didn’t think you’d be home yet. That’s great.”
Bridget is the type of person to smile with her entire face, every bit of her sweet, charming expression filling her up.
And I can’t help but smile back, so damn happy to see her.
“Yeah, I figured after yesterday I owed this little one more time.”