I was a stranger in my own life, and even after getting away from him, I haven’t been able to settle into any one place for long.
It’s been like traveling the world as a ghost, and I longed to be back with my family every step of the way.
They matter more to me than anything else, and every moment I was gone killed me just a little more.
Now that I’m back, I want those parts of me to come alive again. But Jai is still out there, and there is no telling when he might show up.
Please. Please don’t show up. Let this be done. Let me have my life again.
After another moment, I haul myself up from the table, deciding that it’s an excellent time to take a shower and get to bed.
I apparently have a job waiting for me on Monday—with the man I should have chosen five years ago.
FIVE
Bridget
Getting up early has been a part of my life since going on the run. Sleep doesn’t come easy, and despite being home, I feel no safer and thus find myself up at the crack of dawn.
It’s no use trying to fall back asleep, so I get up and find Mom in the kitchen, a boiling kettle of water being pulled off the stove for tea.
“Well, hi, honey. You’re up early.” She glances over at the clock, which reads six-thirty, and sits down at the table to pour the hot water into her cup. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Probably just wired from being back.”
She nods with a smile, and I notice the nightgown and house coat she has on. It’s a silly old-fashioned thing, but it’s so comforting to see her wearing it like she always does.
I also don’t know how she does it. It’s a million degrees in here. I have on a pair of boxers and a tank top, and I’m roasting.
“Well, if you’re feeling up for it, can I task you with some errands?”
Her hands tremble as she deals with the kettle, and I quickly take it from her, returning it to the stove.
“Of course. What’s up?”
“I need you to go into town and pick up my medication. It’s ready at the pharmacy, and I should have a blouse ready at the dry cleaners.”
I remember the old local shops set up on the main street in the center of town. I’m sure the place could have upgraded to a CVS or something, but I’m weirdly glad they didn’t.
“Sure thing, Mom. Is it all right if I bring them back after my time with Mason? I’m meeting Mia today.”
She perks up again, and I have to roll my eyes. I know exactly what she’s thinking, and no, I do not have time for romance.
“Oh, sure, honey. You can take my car. All it does is sit there. May need some gas, though.”
The words shouldn’t sting, but they’re a reminder of my mom’s condition. I don’t let that show, however. I just offer her a smile and say thank you.
In no time, I’m picking up my mom’s prescription as the last chore on the little to-do list. Her blouse is already in the car, which is freshly gassed up, and if I leave here in the next thirty minutes, I’ll be able to get to Mason’s on time.
I would have moved quicker if I hadn’t kept parking at the back of the lots and taking the long way around the buildings.
But I can feel Jai’s eyes on me, sure that he’s somewhere in the small crowds I pass by in town. I constantly scan their faces, confident that I’ll find him there, and check behind me in nervous sideways glances when anyone is walking behind me.
God, you’re so fucking paranoid.
I know it’s true, but I also know I have every right to be. It wouldn’t be the first time Jai has found me and I needed to run.
Just six months after leaving him, Jai found me in a city four hours away from LA in Nevada. I had been sure he wouldn’t track me down, and yet, I ended up fleeing in the middle of the night when he broke into the motel I was staying in.