Page 112 of Nanny for the Firefighter

I’ve also got my phone right next to me, just in case, and I’ve been religiously checking it for messages from Mason.

Nothing.

I want to believe that’s a good thing, but I’m so on edge that nothing feels comfortable or safe right now.

My heart rate is consistently higher than usual, and I’ve been fighting off memories of the past at every turn.

I remember being this filled with dread when I was living with Jai. He didn’t start so cruel, and that steady build-up was like a frog sitting in a pot of water.

Mom always liked to talk about that one. She’d say, “Try to put a frog in boiling water, and he’ll have none of it. Hop right out. But, if you sit him down in room temperature water on the stove and slowly let it heat up, he’ll cook himself.”

It’s a less-than-charming way to point out that it’s the slow kind of pain that tricks you.

And she was right.

You don’t realize when someone is conditioning you when they do it so insidiously.

Jai was charismatic and affectionate. He paid attention to me and took me places. It wasn’t like one day it suddenly changed.

The descent into pain was gradual.

It started with little nit-picking things here and there. Getting on me about not keeping the house clean or letting myself go when I chose to wear sweatpants on a day off.

And any time I tried to talk to him about my concerns, he brushed it off like I was being irrational. He convinced me that Iwas, convinced me that all these issues I was seeing were all in my head and I was being too sensitive.

I didn’t understand then, but now I know it was classic gaslighting.

And I fell for it—hook, line, and sinker.

“Bridgey! Look!”

Shaking myself, I look down at Mia’s beautiful little sandcastle. The packed sand came out of the mold, cracked and missing chunks, and she’s put in little sticks to be the flags.

“Wow! That’s amazing, muffin!”

Crack.

I jump, my spine tingling as my heartbeat shoots up even higher. Something in the bushes moved, and the hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end.

It’s just as likely that a bird or animal made the sound, but I can’t keep myself from imagining the worst.

All I can see in my head is Jai emerging from the bushes like a damned serial killer in a horror movie.

And I have Mia with me.

The trees around us rustle, the wind moving them easily, and I can’t stay out there in the yard with Mia for a single second longer.

“Amazing job, honey. Let’s go inside and get a popsicle, huh?”

I don’t want to freak her out, but I’m still scooping her up into my arms and practically running for the screen door.

“Bridgey!” She cries, surprised and a bit amused, while I try to prevent myself from having a damn heart attack.

My steps hurry all the more as I get to the deck behind the house and make for the door. I feel eyes on me from every direction, and I throw open the sliding door and fling us both inside.

“Oof!”

I yelp loudly as I crash into something solid, forced to take a step back. As I look up, squeezing Mia to my chest, I see Mason standing just past the door to the backyard.

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