Page 80 of Nanny for the Firefighter

We both walk a step or two into the living room, and there’s Mia passed out on the sofa with Juniper. Hudson brought his family over shortly after I arrived with Mia, and we’ve been taking turns entertaining the kiddos until now.

“I can’t believe you sang them both to sleep.” Meredith smiles gently as her loving gaze washes over her son.

“It’s not a big deal. I’ve always loved singing, is all.”

And I really wish I could do more.

Without the pressure to keep up my poker face, I’ve been pacing through the kitchen. Mason hasn’t called or messaged in hours, and I’m fully panicking now.

Eventually, my steps lead me back to the kitchen, and I watch Meredith sit down next to Hudson. Mom is sitting at the kitchen table, too, and with both of them there, Hudson’s job has become holding their hands.

I can’t stand still, though.

We’ve been waiting for some kind of update for too long, and the horrible dread crawling up my spine is making me sick to my stomach.

I also still haven’t let myself fall apart the way I want to. I still have an audience, as it were, and even though they’re my family, I can’t bring myself to finally let go and have a good cry.

All I want to do, though, is fall to the floor on my knees and scream into the air. The sobs are caged behind my ribs right now, but they’re there.

I want to beg the universe not to do this to me. I want to cry until I can’t.

Because Mason still isn’t home.

I look out the kitchen window set into the back door. The sun has set now, and the fading remnants of pinkish light are fading away with each second, revealing more and more of the night sky.

The hum from the TV turned low in the other room makes my skin itch. The reporters are saying that the fire has been contained, and all threats to the town are gone.

I don’t feel like that, however.

I know I should be happy. Iwantto be happy. But without Mason walking through that door and wrapping his arms around me, the celebration is going to have to wait.

Word has it that most of the firefighters arrived back unharmed, but there’s still a tiny contingent they don’t know about.

That contingent being Mason and his team.

I just need answers. I need somewhere to direct my panic and concern. Waiting around with nothing to go on is like slow torture.

Worse, memories of being at the hospital waiting to hear about my father’s condition swim up from the depths. Iremember pacing through the hall, just waiting and waiting and waiting.

This feels too similar, and this can’t end the same way. Ican’tlose another person I care about.

“Bridget, try to sit or something. You’re going to work yourself up into a coronary.”

My mother’s voice cuts through my thoughts, and I hang my head. I know my pacing isn’t helping, but I’m not sure I can stop moving.

“I know. I know. It’s just?—”

“Hey,” Hudson interrupts, “he’ll be okay. He’s a tough guy. Mason has gotten me out of too many scraps to count.”

Meredith shoots him a playful glare.

“This was well before I met you, hun. You know I’m just a boring old man now.”

She grins, and seeing my brother with his wife makes me want to sob all the more. They have exactly what I want—what I thought I’d finally gotten.

I spin on my heel, making another circle through the kitchen to the living room. Mia and Juniper are thankfully still sleeping, and my chest pinches just looking at Mason’s daughter.

Mia asked several more times about her dad before she fell asleep, and it was getting harder and harder to keep my cool when she did.

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