Page 65 of Nanny for the Firefighter

How could I have been with that guy when Mason was here all this time?

I know it’s not as simple as that, and I know that I was manipulated by Jai, but my stomach is still twisting itself in knots because I’m…embarrassed.

Correction, mortified.

It’s all just that damn gaslighting and mental “abuse.” I know it is. Hell, I sat down with a therapist for a whole five seconds when I first got away, and I know that, technically, none of this is my fault.

But it still feels like it.

“Bridget,” Mason’s voice is even, not pushing in the slightest, “I just…I want to know what happened. But if you feel weird, if this is uncomfortable?—”

I shake my head, holding up a hand to stop him.

“It’s not that. Well, not entirely. It’s just,” I suck in a deep breath, trying to diffuse the tension with a lopsided grin, “it doesn’t exactly put me in the best light, you know?”

Mason’s lips part as he stares at me, and then his hand comes to my cheek.

“Hey, I don’t think less of you because you dated a jerk. I’m pretty sure everyone has been with someone they regret.”

My shoulders slump, and I drop my head against Mason’s chest.

“I do. I regret it so much.”

My stomach is still churning, my heart pounding, but it’s time. I owe Mason something.

“He was…he was charming, Mason. He was really fucking charming at first.” My voice quivers. “But it was just a façade. That person was just who Jai wore on the outside. It wasn’t the real him.”

“Bridget, did he?—”

I squeeze Mason, gripping his shirt like a lifeline. “Please, just wait. If I don’t…If I don’t get this out, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.”

He smooths a hand down the back of my head, just nodding like he’s afraid to speak and ruin my confession.

“Jai was the jealous type, but he always,” my voice cracks again, “took it, umm, too far. He made me feel horrible for even looking at another man, and I think…I think he knew that there was something between us.”

When I can, I look up at Mason, stepping back just enough to suck in a deep breath.

“He basically demanded I leave, you know. I didn’t want to try for the whole singing career thing, and I mean, I didn’t really. Jai might have said that’s why we were going but I was never really allowed to actually go to auditions and things. Every time I mentioned going home, even just to visit, he shut it down—hard.

“I just…Mason, I feel like I let him get away with so much. I could never stand up to him, but I know he manipulated everything to keep me too afraid to do so. What’s it called…umm, gaslighting? Yeah, classic case, I’m afraid.”

“Jesus, Bridget. I didn’t…well, fuck. I never liked the guy. But I didn’t think it was that bad. I’m sorry.”

A choked sob rushes out of me. I can’t hold them back anymore, and the words come tumbling out of my mouth even faster.

“The things he said…I couldn’t eat what I wanted; Jai would take my plate away. In front of people. He picked on me and bossed me around. He controlled everything. It was like I was just a ghost haunting my own life.”

The tears flow and flow, raining down my cheeks as I shake in Mason’s arms. I can’t stop it now that I’ve started.

But I manage to keep in the truth about Jai’s threats. I’m still too worried that Jai could track me down to Red Lodge and do something to hurt someone.

Logically, I know that should be even more of a reason to say something. Still, that terrified part of me is convinced that if I lock away Jai’s violence in the back of my mind, it won’t be real.

If wishes were horses…

As I sit there crying like an idiot, I look up into Mason’s eyes. His stare is dark, his brows down low over his eyes. A trill of fear rushes down my spine because Mason looks downright pissed, and I can’t understand why.

“Mason, are you?—”

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