Page 13 of Curvy Girl for the Cop

I shake my head, a lump forming in my throat. How can I explain the war raging inside me? The battle between yearning and self-preservation?

"It's not that. I just...I can't do this." My voice breaks on the last word.

Ryan reaches for my hand, his touch searing my skin. "Can't do what? Ava, please, help me understand."

I pull away, wrapping my arms around myself as if I could shield my heart from the impending pain. "This...us...whatever this is. It's temporary, Ryan. You're going to leave, and I'll be..."

The unspoken word hangs heavy in the air between us.Alone. Abandoned.Just like always.

Ryan's eyes widen, realization dawning. He gets out of the Jeep and makes his way around the front to me.

"Ava..." He takes a step towards me, but I back away, my resolve crumbling with each passing second.

"I have to go." I finally grab my purse, my vision blurring with unshed tears. "I'm sorry."

Before he can respond, I flee, my heart shattering with every step. The door closes behind me with a resounding finality, sealing in the memory of his touch, his taste, his love.

A love I'm terrified to claim as my own.

seven

?. . .?

Ava

I struggleto focus on the books I'm shelving, my mind still reeling from last night's abrupt departure. Ryan's face, etched with confusion and concern, haunts me. The chime of the door startles me, and I turn to find him standing there, his presence filling the small bookstore.

"Ava, we need to talk." His voice is gentle but firm, his eyes searching mine for answers.

I swallow hard, my grip tightening on the book in my hand. "There's nothing to talk about, Ryan. I told you, this...it's not going to work."

He steps closer, his warmth enveloping me. "Why? Because you think I'm going to leave? Ava, I'm not going anywhere."

I laugh bitterly, the sound hollow in my ears. "That's what they all say. But in the end, they always leave. And I'm left picking up the pieces of my shattered heart."

His eyes darken. “Who’s they?”

I swallow. “My ex, and…and my dad.” Admitting the truth hurts. That my dad ran out on me after my mom dad, leaving me all alone with my grandma—who was wonderful, but still. It hurts that I wasn’t enough. That he left.

Ryan's hand cups my cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear I didn't even realize had fallen. "I'm not like them, Ava. I would never hurt you."

I shake my head, pulling away from his touch. "You can't promise that. No one can."

I turn away, busying myself with straightening the already immaculate shelves.

His hand on my shoulder gently turns me back to face him. "Ava, listen to me. I know what it's like to be afraid of getting hurt. I've been there."

I meet his gaze, surprised by the raw vulnerability I see there. "What do you mean?"

He takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself. "My mom left when I was a kid. Just packed up and walked out one day, no explanation. And my dad...he wasn't exactly the nurturing type. I grew up thinking that love was a weakness, that it only led to pain."

My heart aches for the little boy he once was, the man he's become despite it all. "Ryan, I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head, a sad smile on his lips. "I'm not telling you this for sympathy, Ava. I'm telling you because I want you to understand that I get it. I know how hard it is to trust, to let someone in. But I also know that if you don't take that risk, you'll miss out on something incredible."

I bite my lip, torn between the desire to fall into his arms and the fear of what will happen when he inevitably leaves.

His fingers trail up my spine, igniting sparks beneath my skin. I shiver, pressing closer, needing to feel every inch of him against me.

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